It's All About the Teddy Bear

First, I need to go on record saying that THIS is the post my son will hate me for when he's twelve. Yes, the circumcision discussions will be up there in the top ten most hated posts for him, but this one will top it.

Athena got a bajillion stuffed animals as a baby. In fact when she was barely a zygote, my mother bought her FOUR stuffed animals on a Babies R Us binge. It is then very interesting to know that Athena didn't give a rats toot about stuffed animals until she was over a year old. She loves them now, but as an infant... no interest whatsoever.

And then along came Marcus. He loves to grab at things. Rattles, blankets... he is a very grabby kid. So all those dollars that were wasted on Athena can now be chalked up as an investment in the future.

The four animals my mom bought when I was about six weeks pregnant were these really soft, really cuddly Gund animals. There is a pink hippo, a white sheep, and a blue elephant. But the fourth... ah, the fourth is an ivory teddy bear. Chris discovered yesterday, quite by accident, that this is the magic teddy. If Marcus is sleepy, but isn't really willing to go to sleep, you can put this bear on his tummy and he'll clutch it and instantly fall asleep. It's as if the bear knows the Vulcan Grip. It has now worked about three times... and that's out of four times that we've put him down. This bear is the shizzle, I'm telling you.

It's very cute, too... the way he clutches it as he sucks on that paci and sleeps peacefully. I'll try to charge the camera tomorrow to take a picture of it. It's just adorable.

So, there you have it, Marcus. Hate me all you want... you are the cutest damn baby in the world and you sleep with a teddy. It's all good.

Vacation Addiction

Here is how addicted to vacations I am:

I have just planned out our vacations through 2013.

Okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration. Actually, I've planned through 2009, and then I've planned just 2013. 2010-2012 are still wide-open.

It's not as bad as it seems. And I'm sure your are scratching your head even more so since you know that we are totally broke. Makes going on vacation a bit troublesome.

Well, we ARE broke, but only in the liquid asset sense. Part of the REASON we are broke is the Disney timeshare we purchased back in 2001. And although it was expensive, it is worth every penny.

So I have really only planned our Disney vacations through 2013-ish. There is still plenty of flexibility built in to allow for other little trips here and there. The reason I have to plan so far in advance (other than my own eager-beaver, anal-retentive, order-loving issues, I mean) is to figure out how we shall spend our points each year, and whether or not I need to bank or borrow in order to make our pixie dust dream vacations real.

For example, this year, we are using zero of our points. We have a weeny baby, and generally that is not a good time to head to the Magic Kingdom. Yes, it has been done... in fact WE did it with Athena when she was five months old. We only went to SeaWorld and Universal, however, as we have done Disney a kajillion times and saw no reason to drag a baby who couldn't even sit up yet around parks we know better than our own home.

So since we are using zero points this year, unless I want to forfeit the points all together (I don't THINK so), then I have to bank them. And there are time limits on when I can do that. I have to have x number of points banked by September and another x banked by December... basically, I don't HAVE to plan too far ahead, but it is helpful, and prevents me from looking at the calendar and saying, OH MY GOSH! We have to go to Animal Kingdom NEXT WEEK or we will lose our points! And losing points is equivalent to throwing about $2K down the drain. Uncool. VERY uncool.

Of course, we don't have terribly many points left this year, because in order to go on our cruise LAST year, we had to borrow points from THIS year.

*whew*

This is boring, I know. I have to keep it all in a spreadsheet. So I'm sure you don't want it described here for you. The point is, I now know generally when and for how long we will be at Disney for the next four years. Oh, and then again in 2013.

Yes, I know. I scare myself.

What Do You Do When You Have No Money?

We're broke. Totally.

Tomorrow, I'm getting a pedicure.

I love gift certificates. To all of you who have given them to me, I love you. My feet love you. And my coworkers love you, since they don't have to listen to me whine about not being able to treat myself to something once in a while.

It's Alive! It's ALIVE!!!

Despite the fact that this blog is called "The Mommy Librarian," I seem to focus most of my posts on the "Mommy" part. This is not to ignore the hoardes of readers out there who are anxiously awaiting more news about the wonderful world of librarianship. Really, it's more a product of, "How much can I say about work without getting myself into trouble?" I long ago determined it was best to just keep my mouth shut in most cases.

But, for those of you wringing your hands, demanding an update on the professional half of my life, here goes. As you should know if you read my every word, I recently moved to a new location. Same job (sort of) but in a different place. In this case, that place is really really REALLY close to my house. Hooray. Our gas credit card is already thanking me for it. The poor thing was really getting overworked.

Anyway, the reason I was able to move is because this closer library just recently decided to reorganized, thereby adding in this new department, which I am now charged with creating. This is my favorite thing in the world to do at work. Starting from scratch... building from the ground up. Hooray!

So last week, I mentioned I hired someone. Now that person becomes the first person other than me to populate this new department. In the next two weeks (hopefully) we will hire the second person to join me. Both of these positions I get to hire because they were vacated in the last six months and have been held open with the idea that they would help me populate my department.

After that, the really hard part kicks in. I will start taking volunteers from the current staff. In one case, that's not a problem. I've been given one full-time library assistant position, and guess what... only one person has volunteered! Done!

But then the suckfest starts. I have two other positions... each with two people having expressed interest. I have to somehow choose one (interview? draw straws? arm wrestling?) and then hope the other doesn't mind. Ugh. Even if the participants are professional about it (and I know they will be... these people are wonderful), it's still a crappy place to be in.

So as we creep along, it's looking like I will have a real, honest-to-goodness department created by the end of August. I'm like Dr. Frankenstein... putting the pieces together one by one until one day I can say, "It's Alive!!!!" or at the very least I can say, "Look, MY did it!"*

Waxing Nostalgic

A few things have happened in the last couple of weeks that make me very nostalgic.

1) I had a birthday.
2) Bernie visited and looked through my scrapbooks from my big trip to Greece.
3) I found out we were hopelessly broke and it made me remember those days before marriage and kids when I had money.

Since I was sort of pining for the past, I thought I might look through the same scrapbooks I showed Bernie. If nothing else, I hoped it would motivate me to clean up my office so I could scrapbook again. All it did was make me a little weepy.


I went to Greece with a girlfriend who I never see anymore. (She, like MOST of my friends, moved away. And like most of THOSE friends, she moved to Charlotte.) She sent me a card while I was on leave to tell me she is expecting. She's been TRYING to expect since before I started trying to get pregnant the first time. I haven't even called her. I'm such a loser.

Anyway, we had the most amazing trip EVER. I look back at the pictures and realize that I will never have that chance again. I'm so glad I did it when I could. The way the finances look right now, I'm not sure we'll ever get to go to Europe again. Certainly not like that trip.

We were two American girls without any ties to anything... free to wander about as we pleased. She and I were great traveling companions because we understood each other so well. We are both a little wacky, albeit in different ways.

I can't get over how SKINNY I am in these pictures. This was the summer before I met Chris. I had just lost 40 pounds on the old "eat right and exercise" diet. I really need to get back to doing that. It's not like it would kill me. And these pictures remind me of just what CAN be possible.


Sorry if they are a bit fuzzy... I scanned them from my scrapbook, obviously. But I hope they convey the youth and party-atmosphere of that wonderful trip. These are not the best pictures we took, but they are still great to look back on.

I would rank this as my favorite vacation ever. I've had other wonderful vacations, but this one really defies description. We were there two and a half weeks. We immersed ourselves in that beautiful country, and we came home changed. I would feel bad that my best vacation hasn't been with my husband, but I suspect he would tell you that his favorite vacation didn't include me. Sure, we've had some nice ones... but the number one trip... not with each other.

So tell me, what was YOUR number one vacation?

Sleepy Time... And the Livin' Is Easy

Since Jessey posted a picture of her sleeping child in a post about how she's stays awake, I thought I'd post a picture of my wide-awake child in a post about how he sleeps.

I almost hate to post this for fear of jinxing it, but Mr. Man has slept through the night for TWO nights in a ROW. And when I say "through the night" I mean he has slept from 7pm-ish PAST 6am. I cannot say for sure what time he woke up this morning because as of this posting, he is still asleep.

Well, he did wake briefly while I was in the shower, but Chris plunked his magical paci back in his mouth and he's gone back off to La-La Land. Looks like Chris has too...

And Athena woke up screaming a moment ago, but never came out of her room. She seems to have drifted off again as well. So I'm the only one awake.

OH! She's awake. I just looked up and like a ghostly apparition, Athena is standing in the darkened hallway outside our room. That scared the bejeezus out of me! Perhaps I should see to her nourishment.

I'd Like to Offer You the Position...

I got to hire someone this week. Even better, it's someone who has been trying very hard to break into our library system and has been doing better and better in her interviews each time. So it's so awesome to reward someone for that hard work.

Of course, the down side is I also had to call some other internal candidates and I still have to write letters to some others to let them know they were NOT successful. One great moment deserves eight other crappy ones, I suppose.

I have been on both ends of the interview process in this library system, and despite the fact that I didn't get two jobs in a row, one I wasn't really qualified for yet and the other I was already doing in another branch, I feel the process is awfully fair. And it is, indeed, significant that I use the terms "awful" and "fair."

Obviously, I can't talk about the intricacies of the interviews. However, I'm glad we have a very formal, strict process as jobs in this system are treasured and when they open up, the candidate pool is amazingly good. I interviewed nine people for a part-time Library Assistant position. I could have hired ANY of them. The minimum requirement for that job is a high school diploma. Most of the people I interviewed had Master's Degrees (some in library science, some in other fields) or were working towards them. This is for part-time work! Lots of nights and weekends. Starting salary is between 10 and 18K. The county does pay benefits, though, which does sort of bring up the value of that paycheck.

There is nothing like interviewing a whole bunch of people who REALLY want to just get ANY job as long as it's for the organization YOU work for to remind you how lucky you are to have your job.

And I get to hire a librarian sometime in the next couple of weeks. Woo hoo! This is great!

Dream Dinners Redux

So I've told you all about Dream Dinners and how much I love the concept. I even told you that the first couple of meals we had were pretty darn tasty. So on Friday, I'm about to go to my third Dream Dinners session, so I thought I would update you on how it's all working out.

First of all, if I'm going back a third time, it must be working out pretty well, so let's just get that out of the way. But let's explore all the ways it is going well.

1) The food is delicious. Seriously. Even when the food isn't exactly to our own taste, we have to admit that it's pretty good. We had Barbeque Pork Wraps with Jason and Bernie on Saturday, and neither Chris nor myself actually care for Barbeque... any style. If we disappear suddenly, it's because admitting that may have just revoked our rights to live in this state... but regardless, the pork wraps were good! We were pleased.

2) The sessions are fun. I love to cook, but finding time and finding my kitchen in a clean enough state to actually cook well is difficult. And when I say "difficult," what I mean is "impossible." Now I get to go to a place for two hours and just do the fun part... put things together. All the ingredients are there... it's like coloring by numbers. Or crosstitch. I dig it.

3) I am saving assloads of time. No meal planning. Way less grocery shopping. Chris can cook any of the meals I've premade with little to no direction at all. Cha-CHING!

4) I am saving small assloads of money. I buy less groceries. Granted, the Dream Dinners are $200 for a month's worth of food, but I think I've easily cut out that much, probably more, in dining out and groceries. Woo hoo!

5) We get a variety of food. We have salmon. We have beef. We have French. We have Chinese. We really do get a little bit of everything. It SEEMS like I'm the most creative cook in the world... but really, I'm letting someone else do all that work for me. It's like I'm delegating really really well.

Are there disadvantages? Well, I suppose. This month, I didn't really think as many of the entrees sounded very appetizing, so we'll have more repeats. And I don't really like paying for the stuff when I register rather than when I take it all home. And the music they play in the store while you cook is pretty generic "everyone can dig this" stuff... so it's not great. Jessey would be disappointed that they don't pump out Snoop. Okay, fine... I admit it... I'm disappointed too. Although I would settle for some good showtunes.

But the trade offs are so well worth it. I'm totally addicted. Try it. You'll like it. I can argue that it's even worth buying a small freezer to put out in your garage. SO worth it. Trust me.

Boo Boo

Yesterday, my cuticle split on the middle finger of my right hand. It hurts a lot. I put a Band-Aid (R) on it so that it wouldn't continue to catch on stuff and hurt even more. The only one that was handy is graced with the images of Sesame Street(R) characters.

Athena saw it this morning.

Athena: Mommy, boo-boo?
Me: Yes, Mommy has a boo-boo.
Athena: Elmo?
Me: Yes, Elmo is helping make the boo-boo better.
Athena: kissing Mommy's finger. All better.

I love that kid.

Stuff

Well, the new disposable bottles didn't work out. Not at all. They made Marcus miserably gassy. I mean, REALLY gassy. Like cry-and-scream-for-an-hour gassy. It's a real pisser as I had already purchased my full stock of them before they started making him the world's grumpiest baby. So I'm back to the expensive Dr. Brown's bottles, and I'm out about $30. Nice, eh?

We saw Pirates of the Caribbean tonight with Aiden's parents. The kids stayed home with a sitter, as the content of this movie isn't really suitable for kids. Of course, that didn't stop some parents from bringing their little ones, but not everyone is as perfect in the parenting department as we are. I completely enjoyed myself. Many buckles were swashed. And how Depp makes those horrible teeth sexy I will never understand. But he does. *sigh*

Experienced a surreal parade in downtown Apex that was staged for a documentary on NHL fans or something. We just stumbled upon it. There were a handful of people there to be on camera. We, on the other hand, just ducked into a restaurant.

Made cookies today. I love making cookies. Makes me feel so "Donna Reed." And then later, it makes me feel fat.

Jason and Bernie stopped by today. We miss having Jason so close by since he moved to Charlotte, and we haven't been able to spend a lot of time with Bernie, since they married after he moved away. Although they knew each other when he lived here, she lived half-way around the world. So it wasn't until they married that she moved here. Anyway, it was good to see them. And they lavished gifts on Marcus. I have hidden the gifts for when Marcus is older and can defend them from his sister, who would claim them as hers in a heartbeat.

We saw one of my sorority sisters last night, along with her husband and their two boys. I have only barely kept in touch with her since I graduated, but we finally arranged to get together for dinner and general backyard mayhem for her kids and ours. It was truly an enjoyable evening.

So all totaled, we spent the weekend with three different sets of friends from three different phases of our lives. I knew Heather in college, then Chris knew Jason from work in the early part of our marriage, and then finally I know Kathryn from my current job. A weekend like this makes me consider how lucky I am to have the friends I have. Let's face it, I can be downright grumpy and hard to deal with from time to time, and yet I have friends who stick with me through many many many many years. In fact, in my circle of closest friends, I count people who I have known from as far back as 8th grade. Really impressive that they even still talk to me considering what a royal diva bitch I was in high school.

So let that be a lesson to you, new friends! Once we're friends, you can never get rid of me! Mwuahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

If this becomes the plot of the next big horror movie, I'm suing. And I'm totally sharing the settlement with my poor friends who put up with me.

My Do It!

Athena can now climb in and out of her carseat and buckle herself in with only minimal help/interference from us. And as she does this, she cries her victory cry...

"My Do It! My Do It!"

So totally cute.

I Give Up

Just when I get one part of my life together, another part falls apart. Just once, I'd like to have it all together. The house in order, the bills paid, my job enjoyable and reasonably caught up, and all of my family in love with each other. My friends all healthy, my dog not wheezy and shakey, my cats not being killed by neighbors... What if one day all could be in place and well? Would it cause the Earth to stop rotating? I wonder...

I hate days when some things are going so well that they have to be counterbalanced by crapulence. And then I hate how I act on those days. I hate me for being so hateful. It's worse than chasing your own tail.

Sorry to be so cryptic, but that's all you're getting. I just had to vent. Thanks.

For Those of You Itching to See The Man...

Here he is in all his splendor. I do think he's wearing a diaper, but it doesn't look like it, does it? I don't know for sure, because Kathryn took this while they were watching our offspring Friday night. I wasn't there. She sent me five pictures from that night. In all five, my kids are mostly naked. I would be concerned, but they are MY kids... I understand. 

It's Amazing What You Can Tune Out...

Kathryn sent this to me. She took it on a visit to their house. In the foreground, you see our daughter, clearly in a state of all out frenzy. In the background, that's Chris... completely engrossed in an Entertainment Weekly. So for those of you who are childless and wonder, "Can't they SHUT that kid UP?!" the answer is, "Yes, if we actually heard that kid... but we've long since learned to completely tune it out."

Poster Child for Nutrasweet (R); or, How I Became Stupid

I used to be smart. Really. I used to have a keen memory. I was a great speller, and I could memorize the entire school play in two rehearsals. But that was long ago. Then I discovered Diet Coke (R).

"They" say that Nutrasweet (R) is bad for you -- that it kills brain cells. "They" may SAY it, but brothers and sisters, I am living proof. Of course, it could just be that I'm getting old, or that I have two children, but I prefer to blame it on "The Man." So let it be known that all my flightiness is surely a result of a lifetime addiction to Diet Coke (R).

Yesterday evening, in my haste to prove that I could, indeed, collect two children (preferably my OWN two children) from daycare and get them home in one piece, I left all of their belongings (dirty bottles, wet bathing suit and towel, craft project, etc.) at daycare on a hook in Marcus' room. They called me at 12 minutes until 6 to laugh at me and tell me to come get my stuff. It takes me fifteen to get there, assuming the kids are strapped in the car and ready. They weren't, so there was no way I could get back there before they closed. No matter... I can get them tomorrow.

So today dawns and I have to pack extra things for the kids because I am working tonight and they are going to Aiden's house to cause trouble there. I remember nightclothes (barely) and diapers and bottles and formula. I forget Athena's pacifier. It's been hard enough getting her to go to bed lately, but I left my good friends (well, I HOPE they are still good friends) with no pacifier.

I get them to daycare this morning and only misplaced my keys twice while dropping them off. I gathered all the stuff from yesterday and threw it in my car, then took the empty diaper bag and bottle bag back in so my friends would have some way to carry all of my kids' crap home.

I had to take the nightclothes and formula to Aiden's house (which is within walking distance of the daycare) and was leaving the parking lot (in my car. I mean, when I say "walking distance," I mean that someone else could walk it. I wouldn't want to.) when I noticed my gas light was on. Peachy. So I checked the trip odometer. 298 miles on one tank of gas. The most I have EVER pushed one tank (and even then I felt like I could putter out any minute) was to 275 miles. Crikey.

Fortunately, there was a Shell (R) station right in that shopping center. Unfortunately, that Shell (R) station is part of a Bunkey's Car Wash (R) and so they charge nine cents more per gallon than any other station in town... unless you buy a car wash. I elected not to buy a car wash. Then I filled my tank COMPLETELY UP, all the while thinking I would just put in enough to get me to the next gas station. While I was debating where that might be... the tank filled up. Forty dollars later, I'm on my way.

I drop off the stuff for later that night, telling John everything that is in the bag (which I bet he could have deduced on his own had he, for instance, looked in the bag), but I neglected to tell him how much or when to feed my son. Fortunately, his wife thought to ask me over IM when I told her I had dropped everything off.

I had some time to kill, so I decided to hit Office Max for a couple of little fun things to dress up my new office. I was delighted to find a parking space RIGHT up front. Of course, it wasn't until I got out of my car and headed for the doors that I realized that out of habit, I parked in front of the Best Buy that is five doors down. I just walked it. I justified my moronic achievement by noting how good the 80 yard walk would be for me.

Lunch managed to go by without incident. Miraculously.

I got to work and upon sending my coworker a schedule for the interviews I just set up (we're hiring a Library Assistant), I realized I had scheduled three interviews right on top of her dentist appointment. I guess I was looking at my WHEN NOT TO SCHEDULE notes rather than the actual calendar. So I have to reschedule three people on Monday for the following Thursday. That's the Monday of July 4th weekend. I'm accepting bets on whether or not I'll be able to reach any of these people.

Dinner managed to go by without incident. I know... I'm astonished as well.

While I was at work, some kids rolled a large recycling dumpster thing into my front fender because they were bored and thought it might be fun. Then they ran. I guess we'll never know if it was as fun as they thought it would be. Fortunately, I have a Saturn, so the damage is not even really damage. The officer pointed out how many other scratches and paint flaws I have. Wasn't that nice of her? Incidentally, this paragraph does not illustrate my own stupidity. It was just something irritating that happened today.

Driving home, I was focused intently. No, not on the road, silly! I was thinking about how I was going to get two sleeping children into my car from Aiden's house, and then how I was going to get them into their own beds without waking them. Unfortunately, it wasn't until I was several miles past the turn I needed to make in order to actually COLLECT my children that I realized the point was moot if I didn't turn my butt around. John and Kathryn laughed at me. And well they should.

I'm home now. I got the kids into bed. Well, Marcus is actually sleeping in his car seat, but the car seat is in his crib. Tomorrow I have to drive them to Greensboro, as Athena and I are getting haircuts. Let's just hope I remember how to drive a car in the morning. I did have three Diet Cokes (R) this morning.

Lullaby, and Good Night... Go To Sleep... Would You Just GO TO SLEEP?!

Well, there was no choking on her vitamin tonight, but bedtime was still a chore. This is the problem with one person always doing the bedtime routine. When that person goes away for a long weekend of geeking out, then bedtime literally becomes the sixth level of hell.

She did finally simply pass out at about 9:40, but it wasn't pretty before that. I had company over (an old friend from the old job brought me a birthday dinner from Chili's), and she got to witness at least part of the ordeal. She was lucky though. She could yawn, and stretch, and say that she was beat and therefore had to leave. Yeah, right. Leave me with Rosemary's Baby, why don'cha?!

And poor Chris. She is so ticked off at the fact that he isn't here that she won't even talk to him on the phone. He misses her terribly, and all she does is scream "NO!" at the phone.

On the plus side, Kathryn introduced me to Playtex "Drop-Ins" bottles. I was complaining about how, now that I have weaned Marcus, I often have to run my dishwasher half full because of all the baby bottles and their various parts. She told me she used the disposable liners so all she had to wash were the nipples. I suddenly realized that... well... I could do that too!

Basically, we had these really expensive, anti-colic bottles because Athena wouldn't take anything else. So rather than buy new bottles, I just bought new nipples. However, Marcus isn't nearly as finicky as Her Majesty was... so I thought I would try these others.

Turns out Marcus really digs them. And they are lighter to hold and carry, plus they are a more convenient shape. So basically, I'm switching tomorrow! Gonna buy me about three more of these bad boys and some spare nipples, and those old bottles with FIVE SEPARATE parts are going off to the dump. HOORAY!

And even better, they are easier to find. I used to have to drive all the way across town to get replacements for the old bottles. I can get these new ones at Target... and maybe even the grocery store. I'm all a-tingle with excitement!

But for now... I need to sleep. Athena may fight it with all her might, but you won't see me resisting the call of repose...

Vitamins Can Kill You

Athena stopped breathing tonight.

She did not want to go to bed, and was hysterical over it. To try to bribe her into liking the bed idea (bribing becomes par for the course when you are a parent), I suggested maybe she might want her Flintstone's (knockoff) vitamin now. Of course, she was all about that, since vitamin=candy for this kid.

So I broke the vitamin in half (that's all she's allowed at this age) and gave it to her as promised. Then, I left the room.

She came back out, since she "wasn't tired" and I took her back in there. Rinse. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. What I didn't know is that she was sucking on the vitamin, rather than chewing it up like a normal person would do.

About the fifth time, when I walked out of the room and closed the door, I heard "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA - augh" and then nothing.

I bolted back into the room to find my two year old daughter clutching her throat and gagging. I grabbed her around the waist and the evil vitamin popped free. She gagged a bit more, then calmed down. I, on the other hand, am just now finding time to freak out. She's asleep (I think) and it's just hitting me what has happened.

And to think, you guys thought I was a wimp for being nervous that Chris was leaving me alone with the kids... I swear they should make you get a license before you reproduce. It would stop people like me from doing it.

I'm going to go put my head between my knees now. Happy freaking birthday to me. Crikey.

Preparing to Go It Alone

Chris is going out of town tomorrow. He doesn't come back until Sunday night. That's five days of just me and TWO kids... one being a helpless infant, one being a wild toddler. Am I scared? You bet.

It's silly, isn't it? Chris really spoils me. He is such a homebody that I rarely have to go it alone, even for a couple of hours. I hardly ever take the kids to daycare, and I pick them up from there only a bit more frequently. But starting tomorrow, it's all about me.

He went to Origins last year as well... same time of year. However, we had already made beach plans with Brian and Sophie for the same weekend, so he was only gone Wednesday through Friday night. I only had one kid at the time too... so I was actually looking forward to some great Mommy-Daughter time. Instead, within minutes of him leaving, she came down with Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease. Perhaps you remember...

It was then that I told Chris he could never leave town again. And yet, here he goes. I would be going with him if I hadn't just taken eight weeks maternity leave. I have no vacation time left to take. So I stay home while he hangs out with overweight guys who never shower and overweight women who wear chainmail bikinis. At least I need not worry that he will be unfaithful.

So I've been mounting my plan of attack... trying to figure out how to gently rock Marcus to sleep while Athena jumps up and down on my lap. Or perhaps how to cook dinner while feeding Marcus and entertaining Athena. (Thank goodness for DVRs and Nick Jr.! Huzzah!)

Don't get me wrong... I'm sure I'll survive. But I am going to be VERY tired by Monday morning. And then I will chain Chris to the front porch so he can't do this again.

Upon the Conclusion of My Thirty-Fifth Year

My birthday is this week. I'm going to be 35. I don't think of 35 as old. 36, however, is a different story. But 35... that has always seemed to be an ideal age to me. You are old enough to really do whatever you want and appreciate that fact. I'm enjoying my early thirties very much, thank you. However, this may be the last year you are allowed to ask.

Ever since I turned 30, birthdays have made me rather philosophical. I look back at chunks of my life and realize how far I've come. For instance, ten years ago, I was turning 25. I was at the end of an emotionally abusive relationship. I had determined that I did not have enough money to make a trip to England and Scotland with my amateur theater group and was forfeiting my ticket and redirecting funds I had raised to those worthy of the money. My father was one-year post diagnosis of prostate cancer and was preparing for a surgery that had good potential to prolong his life. I was working at a smallish publishing company and I was almost done with my first library school course (Introduction to Reference Services). I had proposed to the company I worked for that they needed a full-time librarian, and they were listening to me. I was living in the hood in Greensboro, as it was the only place I could afford on my own, and my roommate had just gone off and married the guy she had been dating since college. A guy I introduced her to, incidentally.

So all that said, my life seemed to be pretty well decided. However, if you had told me then that in ten years, I would own my third home (not all at once, of course... I just moved twice more) in Apex, be married to a mouse-killing gamer who I met while pretending to be a vampire, and have two beautiful children, I would have scoffed. Never mind all the other water that has quickly moved under the bridge. Or is that over the dam. Anyway...

I did end up going to England and Scotland with my troupe after one of the performers had a heart attack and although he survived, he was not allowed to travel. He redirected all his funds into my account because he felt that I was the most worthy recipient.

My father passed away that November despite the surgery being successful. The cancer had just spread too far.

I bought my first home the following January with money from an insurance policy, greatly improving the quality of my own life. I lost 40 pounds because that house was on a park and I was able to walk every day for pleasure/exercise. I've since gained it back, dammit.

I completed my Master's Degree, and assumed the full-time job of librarian/archivist... a job I created practically from scratch. The systems I developed there are still being used today.

I went to Greece with a girlfriend for one of the most fantastic vacations of my life.

I met and married Chris. um... that's all I'll say about that.

I ran my own business for two years, with moderate success.

I had a successful career at Dialog, which got me into management, allowing me to gain the experience I needed to get my current job with the public library.

And now I have the kids and the job at the local libray and the well-written blog that you all already know about.

I did all of that in ten short years. That's the time it took me to go from 3rd grade to graduation. At the beginning of third grade, I didn't even know the multiplication tables. By graduation, I learned most of them. Seriously, think of everything you learn in THOSE ten years. And yet, it seems to have only been a blink of the eye when I look back on it.

Is life like a box of chocolates? I sure hope not. Thirty-five-year-old chocolate is NASTY. Bleh.

Toddler Speak

Act I
Daddy: Do you want some applejuice?
Athena: Yeppa
Daddy: What the hell is "Yeppa?!" Say, "Yes!"
Athena: Yes
Daddy: Good. Now, do you want some applejuice?
Athena: Yeppa

Act II
(reading a Dora book together -- Daddy reads the word and points and Athena repeats. Mommy is listening in while feeding Marcus)
Daddy: Hi
Athena: Hi
Daddy: I
Athena: I
Daddy: am
Athena: am
Daddy: Boots
Athena: Booze
Daddy: I
Athena: I
Daddy: love
Athena: wuv
Daddy: my
Athena: my
Daddy: fire
Athena: fire
Daddy: truck
Athena: fuck
Daddy: no, "truck"
Athena: fuck!
Mommy: Athena, say, "Firetruck."
Athena: Firefuck

Ah... I am going to miss these days...

Clearly I'm a Western Europe Kind of Gal

create your personalized map of europe

I've got to do something about that white area that is Spain. I don't know how I've missed it.

States That Have Some of My Money

create your own personalized map of the USA

Countries I Have Graced With My Presence

create your own visited country map

Lord Stanley Moves In

Woo freaking hoo

I laughed. I cried. I jumped up and down. I screamed.

Sweet.

Rollin' Rollin' Rollin'

Marcus hit a new milestone on Saturday. He rolled over from his back to his belly. This was especially cool because he did it over at our friends' house, so they got to see too! It's pretty remarkable to watch as a baby struggles to achieve this motion for the first time. Kind of like watching a turtle or a beetle on its back.

He hasn't done it since, which is in line with Athena, as she did the same thing. She rolled over once at three months just to prove to the world she could, then didn't do it again until six months. I imagine she liked the dramatic effect.

Vampires in Port Angeles, Washington

Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. Read this book. Staci, I'm talking to you, especially. Cathy and Kevin, you too.

You'll find it in the Young Adult section of your local library or bookstore. Do it. Now. Before the sequel comes out.

You'll thank me.

Snoozing

Lunching With Aunt Linda

She's Just So Pretty...

Say Cheese!

 

The End of a Difficult Nap

 

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

For those of you who have not had the pleasure of gestating and then birthing a child, I'll give you a little tidbit of info you may not have known. It's about your hair.

In your day-to-day life, you lose a hair or two along the way. In most cases, other hair has grown in to replace it. This happens in men and women. It's not really something we think about (unless we are going bald). We take a shower, rinse, lather, repeat, and notice one or two hairs in our hands. Or we brush our hair and find there is some hair caught in the brush. On a daily basis, we deal with this, and dispose of it properly, not getting alarmed or freaked out.

Of course, for some people, no hair grows, and they begin to go bald. These people do freak out a little when they find hair in their brush, but they know that it's just going to happen and they have time to adjust. Rarely does one's hair fall out all at once unless radiation is involved. And when you are having chemo, your hair is really the least of your worries (not to say that it isn't a worry...)

So again, rarely do you lose large amounts of hair all at once. Unless, that is, you were pregnant, and now you are not. And this, I think, is one of the strangest parts of recovering from pregnancy. It really does affect your whole body, and here is the proof. When you are pregnant, your body holds on to everything. You stop losing hair, but you keep growing it. You therefore get a head of thick, luxurious hair that many will ooooh and aaaaah over. You forget what it's like to lose a hair or two here or there. You don't have to clean your brush or sweep up the shower drain. You forget that you ever even HAD to do those things.

And then one day, it starts to happen. Your body says, "What IS all this hair doing here? Doesn't anyone ever clean up around here? I'm not the MAID you know. Someone else could take care of this... Geez! Fine, then... I'll clean it up!" and the next thing you know, HANDFULS of hair are coming out. I'm not exaggerating. If I could think of a way to take a picture that wouldn't be extremely icky looking (hair on brush... eeeeuuuuw), I would. And it lasts for several days. I can run my hand through my hair and out comes a significant amount of it.

This shouldn't be alarming. After all, I have lots of extra hair right now. But it is still weird, Weird, WEIRD. I am reminded, perhaps inappropriately, of the scene in Poltergeist when the face is being pulled apart. It is so much hair that it really feels like I'm yanking out chunks of my body. It doesn't seem right. And yet, I am not bald. I am, in fact, still quite laden with hair.

Isn't pregnancy weird?

Empty Nest Syndrome

Well, Jessey did it, so we had to do it too. We moved Marcus into his crib on Sunday night. Until then, he was sleeping in our room. But he's almost three months old now, and he hit the 12-week mark on Friday, so we thought we'd give it a go.

It's gone okay thus far. He sleeps in there for a while, but when he wakes up for food or love or whatever, it's hard to get him back to sleep in there. Both nights, I've ended up bringing him back in here for part of the night. I'm hoping tonight he'll sleep longer, as he had formula just before bed, which seems to induce long, deep sleeps a bit better.

It's great having our room back, though. Especially in that early evening period. Before, I couldn't read or cross stitch up here after he went to bed because the light would throw off his sense of day and night. Now, I have the room to myself. However, I can't help feeling that someone is missing.

Perhaps this is why some (insane) parents find the family bed so appealing. After all, it's quite cozy having his warm, fuzzy little head right under my nose while we sleep. And he does seem to sleep a little better when in the bed with us. However, we certainly don't want to have to wean him from it later in life when he actually can express an opinion about it. Besides, we never have him in the bed all night. We couldn't stand that... we need a little privacy...

So he's in his crib now. I'm really hoping he can stay there all night tonight. One day soon, I'd like to get a whole night's sleep. Maybe tonight? Maybe?

iPod, uPod, We All Pod for iPod!

Guess what I got for my birthday from my mom? It's not like it's something I needed, and I really could have just used the money to pay a bill or two, but it's sleek and sexy and really more useful than I imagined.

For example, now when someone asks me if I have a picture of my kids, I can say... "No. I have two HUNDRED pictures of them," and whip out the old iPod. On top of that, I'll never miss another episode of VH1's The Best Week Ever, as I have subscribed to it via PodCast. And I can listen to all the book reviews all day from NPR in their PodCast as well. Hey! It's work-related. Perhaps I can get paid for that time...

And let's not forget the thousands of songs I can put on there. I probably shouldn't have taken so much time picking and choosing songs to rip. This baby could hold all the CD's I own in their entirety. Of course, then I wouldn't have as much room for Best Week Ever...

But that's not all! Did you know that iPod can pull your contacts from Outlook? So since I can't sync my Palm to Lotus Notes and I can't use the calendar function in LN anyway because I work at multiple workstations, now I can move my contacts to my iPod and leave the Palm at home. There is also a calendar, but it looks clunky... and there are even games. Hooray!

I do want to get new earphones though. I don't mind the white, stand-out design so much, but honestly, they aren't very comfortable.

I'm telling you, this librarian is so with it... perhaps I should call this blog, "The Hip Mommy Librarian."

This Post Is Not About Hockey... Okay, Well, Sorta...

As you must know by now, I am a hockey fan. I am also a girl. Many non-hockey fans think I am a rarity. I am not. Lemme 'splain.

Chicks dig hockey. And there are many reasons they do. And if you are a chick, and you don't dig hockey, it's probably because you either: a) have never seen a game, b) have only seen a game on television, c) have never seen a minor league game through two or three brewskies or even wine coolers, or d) have never seen an NHL game sober. Ladies, if you are a hockey virgin, you must immediately mark your calendar for next season and go see one. Even if you have to drive, say, three hours to the nearest hockey town. I dunno, like maybe Phoenix or something. Or Vancouver. Or D.C. I'm just giving examples here.

And don't even give me the "I don't like ANY sports line." Because I didn't either.

And if you are a chick and have read, or attempted to read, any of Chris' hockey blog entries and thought, my GOD this is BORING... don't despair. Hockey isn't about talking. It's about doing. That is a lot of the appeal for women. In fact, let's explore all the appeal factors for women.

Hockey is fast.
Let's face it, these guys are running on really slippery stuff. They are bound to move fast. You can't say that it isn't amazing to watch people move so fast with such purpose.

Hockey requires mad skillz, yo.
Not only are these guys running on ICE... they are moving a puck around and trying to get it past a (traditionally) really big guy into a (proportionally) really small goal. And they are crashing into each other and switching on and off the ice and watching out for which line they cross when... whew! Talk about multitasking. Ladies, these guys are focused.

Hockey players are athletes.
Where else do you need speed, precision, strategy, teamwork, and the ability to balance on thin slits of metal while on a slippery surface? Baseball players are fat (or doped up); basketball players are thin, thin, thin; football players are heavy as crap, but hockey players are lean, built, and have the cardio function of a machine. I would argue that no other sport requires such athletic skills.

Hockey players are team players.
This is truly a team sport. No single player can win it alone. Not even Gretsky. Okay, well, maybe HE could... but anyway. Women like team sports. We like seeing men working together for a common goal. It's a throwback to hunters of old.

And speaking of Darwin...
Hockey players are sexy. All the above traits factor into that whole natural selection thing. And let me tell you... even if your hormones are completely tuned to that special someone you married, your body will buzz when these guys are around. So even if you are the most shallow person alive... hockey has something for you. Of course, should you try to act on said lust, more power to you. For example, my favorite player is Erik Cole. Cute, isn't he? Yeah, well, his wife is gorgeous, is a skilled hockey player herself, and used to be a New York State Trooper. Let's just say that "cat fight" could not even be in the vocabulary of this woman. Try "ass kicking."

Hockey players are gentlemen.
For the most part, hockey players are the nicest guys on Earth. There are exceptions. I won't name names (Laraque, Orpik), but occasionally someone plays a bit dirty. Still, I live in a community where hockey players are the main pro athletes, and they really give back. Seriously. And their personal appearances are never laden with any bad attitude. They are really friendly guys.

Hockey players have a sense of humor.
There are many examples of this, but I must give a shout out to Ray Whitney and Mike Commodore of the Hurricanes. Here is a letter to Phil Coffey, a columnist for nhl.com.

Phil,

There's two things with the Carolina Hurricanes that demonstrate the loose character of this team, and are potential topics for your column:

1) Mike Commodore & the robe.
For Christmas, Mike selected a white bathrobe as a gift from the team. He had one of the equipment guys embroider it with his number 22. He did an interview in the robe and since then, it has become a best seller in the team store. Each game, you will find impressive numbers of fans in the stands wearing an embroidered robe and a huge red afro-type wig. Being the character he is, Commodore has enamored himself to the fans like no other blue-liner has in the past. Funny.
-link to video

2) Where's Whitney.[sic]
During warm-ups, Trip [sic] Tracy, the team's TV color commentator interviews a player. It has become something that we all look forward to as Ray Whitney always finds a way to get on-camera. He mugs and pans behind the player being interviewed by slowly popping up in the space between Tripp and the player, or gracefully skating laterally across the space pretending not to look at the camera. While not a huge thing, it is something that every Caniac looks forward to. Upon request of my kids, I record each game just so that they can watch
"Where's Whitney" when we return from attending the game.

OK, OK, so these are not huge things, but they demonstrate the looseness, personality and camaraderie of the team, and go along way to endearing this team to the home crowd. It is the little things like this that help differentiate the quality of the people playing the game from other pro-team sports. I'm sure there are other and similar "personalities" in the game and a column on these sorts of antics would be welcome.

-- Fred Moore, Carolina Hurricanes Season Ticket Holder
Knightdale, NC

Hi Fred. Thanks for passing those along. That's funny stuff and now it is in Ice Age. Thanks for passing it along. I don't think I've ever come away from an NHL dressing room after an odd-day practice without a smile because of some of the funny stuff that's going on.

Want to see it for yourself? Watch NBC at 8pm EDT tomorrow and when the players are warming up, watch for an interview with any Carolina player. By the end, you will have seen Ray Whitney. If not, I'll eat my hat.

Hockey is mentally entertaining.
If you want, there is plenty to think about as the guys skate their butts off. If nothing else, let's not forget the great French-Canadian names. Heck, even the Finnish names. Edmonton has a goalie named "Jussi." Yes, that's pronounced "Juicy." How entertaining is THAT?!

Hockey is old and revered.
The Stanley Cup is the oldest trophy in hockey (born in 1892). And it has great stories of its own. Too many to name here. But here's the thing... I've even touched the Stanley Cup. It's not hard to do. It's a very accessible trophy. You've got to hand it to the Canadians. They are a friendly lot. They will share their most prized possession with pride and joy. And really, it IS theirs... even when it stays down here for a year, which it is about to do.

So, in my most manly, girl voice, I scream from the mountaintop...

GO, CANES!

Has It Been a Week Already?

Gosh, I am the slackest poster ever. It's not for lack of wanting to post. I think about it every day. And it's not even that I don't have time. I can always make time to whip out a word or two. The problem is there really is nothing to say. Life is just puttering on with nothing funny going on, no real milestones in anyone's life here... we're just putterring. Here's the general lowdown...

Looks like I'll be at my new job (closer library) at the beginning of July full-time. In the meantime, I'll go one day next week. Two days the week after and the week after that. First on the agenda will be to figure out my schedule; second, to hire two people; and third, to figure out who is in my department. Exciting for me, yes, but still not really getting under way until next week.

We are living hockey at the moment. Game 2 is over and we emerged victorious, leading the series 2-0. Wanna know more? Read Chris' hockey blog.

Athena threw up last night all over the babysitter. She seems fine this morning, but we are debating whether or not to take her to school. I think we will. She is in good spirits and has lots of energy. Honestly, I think she may have been a little overtired yesterday. Or it may have been food related. She says her tummy feels fine.

I left my breast pump at work yesterday. This wouldn't be such a big deal, except I don't go in until noon today, and Marcus will be at daycare all morning.

Chris hates his job at the moment. I don't blame him, really. He's thirty now, and I remember this was a big turning point in my life as far as career goes. We'll see what develops.

And now, Marcus is fussing, so that's all I can post. Just wanted you to know I'm not dead... just not really doing anything worth talking about. :-)

The Librarian Challenges You...

The following email arrived in my inbox earlier this week. The challenge is... how far can you read into this email without having some sort of physical reaction? The reaction can be as small as a little nervous tic, or as big as crossing your eyes, sniggering, or fainting. Let's see who has the strongest willpower... (This is a public document, but I've taken her name out just so people don't contact her and laugh at her. It's not her fault she works where she does.)

Subject: Nuclear Regulatory Commission Local Public Documents Room

The Government Printing Office (GPO), which administers the Federal Depository Library Program (FDLP), is aware that several libraries that house material formerly a part of the Nuclear Regulatory Commission Local Public Documents Rooms (LPDR) have been contacted recently by Nuclear Regulatory Commission (NRC) or local power plant staff regarding this material.

The NRC closed the LPDR program in 1999 and, as a result of an agreement between GPO and the NRC, this material became part of the FDLP. An announcement appeared in Administrative Notes, March 15, 2000 (available at http://www.access.gpo.gov/su_docs/fdlp/pubs/adnotes/ad031500.html#1). A number of former LPDR libraries that are not participants in the FDLP, including your library, elected to retain their NRC collections.

If the NRC has contacted your library regarding this material, please inform GPO by completing the form available at http://gpo.custhelp.com/cgi-bin/gpo.cfg/php/enduser/ask.php?p_cat_lvl1=3&p_cat_lvl2=125.

GPO is contacting NRC headquarters to determine the reasons for the recent inquiries about this material and anticipated actions, if any. I will share any information that GPO finds out from the NRC with both FDLP and non-FDLP libraries currently holding these materials.

GPO asked all FDLP libraries contacted by the NRC to cooperate with any information requests, and I encourage you to do the same. Although there has been no formal request from the NRC to withdraw any material, I would like to remind you that, as a result of the 1999 transfer, much of this material is now covered by the regulations of the FDLP and can only be withdrawn by the NRC under the guidelines set forth in GPO's policy on the Withdrawal of Federal Information Products from GPO's Information Dissemination (ID) Programs. This policy is available at http://www.access.gpo.gov/su_docs/fdlp/pubs/policies/id72_06-21-05.pdf. Any request to withdraw materials in this collection would be communicated to you by GPO.

I would also like to take this opportunity to remind you to contact your nearest regional Federal depository library if, at some future time, your library is no longer able to support public access to this collection, so arrangements can be made to transfer the material to an FDLP library. A list of the regional Federal depository libraries is available at http://www.access.gpo.gov/su_docs/fdlp/pubs/regionals2004.pdf.

Please contact me if you have any questions about this matter. I will be back in touch with you with any new information GPO gathers about these inquiries.

Jxxx Rxxxxxx
Managing Director, Information Dissemination (Superintendent of Documents)
U.S. Government Printing Office
Phone: xxx
Fax: xxx

Uh... You Gonna Finish That?

For all the slamming I've done regarding breastfeeding, I have to admit it does have its benefits. Sure... there's the "healthy for the baby" stuff you have all heard about... but I'm talking about benefits to me. After all... even after two children... it is... All. About. Me.

Anyway, breastfeeding helps your uterus return to it's teeny tiny size by releasing one of those hormones... um... well, look... if you want a medical blog, go elsewhere. I can't be bothered with looking that up. It also helps you return to your prepregnancy weight... or in my case... less than your prepregnancy weight. Yes, folks. I may be one of the only people you know who loses weight when she has babies.

After Athena was born, the pounds just dropped off. I was told to eat more than normal as breastfeeding burns an extra 500 calories a day. However, Athena was an eater, so I think she was taking in even more than that.

Unfortunately, when you stop breastfeeding, you stop burning those calories. And therein lies the rub, my friends. I can easily eat twice what I normally eat at meals right now. I am hungry all the time. It's worse than when I was pregnant. I literally could eat all day long. So when Athena weaned herself (it happened quite naturally and a bit unexpectedly for me), my stomach thought it had been in training for the Nathan's International Hot Dog Eating Contest. So it may have been easy to wean the little girl, but giving up the supersized meals was another story.

This time, I vowed to keep it under control. I vowed that I would maintain a healthy lifestyle and not eat like a pig. Survey says... I'm a loser.

I just had lunch. I ate four times as much as either Chris or Athena. FOUR TIMES! And then I had chocolate. (Curse Hershey's for coming out with dark chocolate miniatures... I'll never be the same.) And I'm still a little hungry. *sigh*

Countdown to the Magic

Due to the birth of my second child, we are taking the longest hiatus between pilgrimages to DisneyWorld. (For me, it's a pilgrimage... for Chris, it's a fate he accepted when he said "I Do.") Our last trip was in November, and we were really only in Orlando for a day. The rest of the time we were on the Disney Magic.

So our next trip is scheduled for April 28, 2007. That means it's almost 18 months between trips. I may get the shakes. I've already suggested maybe going for a four-day weekend in October. How totally sad is that? Pixie dust is worse than crack, I tell you.

Anyway, I mention it this far in advance not because I want you to understand how addicted to DisneyWorld I am (and oh, I am addicted), but because, as always, there is an open invitation to anyone I know and even vaguely like to join us. (What good is addiction if you don't try to force it on others, right?) We are going with another family we like to travel with (one of whom considers it a pilgrimage and one of whom considers it a duty of marriage as well). However, Disney is a big place, and last time I checked, anyone can go as long as you fork over the moolah... so if you were thinking of making a trip to the Happiest Place on Earth next year, consider getting there on or around April 28. :-)

You Like Me! You Really Like Me!

At long last, I have been able to achieve something I was beginning to believe was only possible in fairy tales. I got the job at the library down the street. And thank God I did, because had I not, I was probably going to have to change this blog to "The Mommy."

I got the news on Tuesday afternoon. I don't know when I'll offiicially get to start, but it's looking like maybe part-time in mid-June... going full-time at the new location by early July. It's just a lateral move, but the money I will save in gas and food, not to mention the hour to 90 minutes I just got back in my life (formerly spent in traffic on the way to work and home again) will make this seem like a jump up the ladder.

The department I'll be managing is brand new. In fact, it hasn't even been created yet. So I'll get to build something from the bottom up. This is VERY cool. I love to start from nothing and create a whole program. So I'm looking forward to some exciting weeks ahead. I also get to add Young Adult fiction into my area (my old department managed adult fiction only), and I LOVE "YA" stuff.

I will miss my old library. Well, actually, I'll miss the people I work with. Fortunately, I should see them frequently at system committee meetings and activities. It's not like I'm leaving the system. As much as I wanted this job, it's still bittersweet... leaving behind some really wonderful people.

Of course, we've had some teenage hoodlums trying to take over the library lately... so I won't miss THEM.

The new location is very busy (currently, the busiest library in North Carolina, actually), so I doubt I'll have much time to get bored. Considering I don't have time to get bored NOW, and I'm in one of the less busy libraries... I'm hoping I don't get overwhelmed.

So there you have it. Contrary to the experience of the last eight months, I CAN still land a job when I set my mind to it. Whew.

A Few More Steps and We'll Be Safe in the Fire Swamp

The Princess Bride was on television a few days ago, so we were watching it with Athena. I always thought of it as a great family flick. Isn't it odd how you don't notice how downright scary something is until you watch it with kids?

The R.O.U.S. (Rodents Of Unusual Size for the one person out there who hasn't memorized the film) appeared, and I thought Athena's eyeballs were going to pop out of her head. And it was just before bedtime too. We are such great parents. *sigh*

Library Dress Code

I do not like to make snide comments about library patrons and any irritating qualities they may have. It is unprofessional, and after all, they are my bread and butter. And goodness knows I do stupid things every now and then... so I'm not about to start a blog that natters on about the low IQ of the general public in an attempt to make myself look smarter. Truth is... I'm not that smart. But don't tell anyone. (If you want such a blog, try this one. I was reading it when I went into labor. I actually thought the initials labor pains were from laughing so hard.)

However, sometimes people do things that are just plain irritating, and sometimes it happens to be in a library. I am confident that the bad parents I previously ranted about are bad parents OUTSIDE of the library as well. I can only speak for what I observe IN the library, as that is where I am all the time.

Today, my topic is not parenting (for a change) but fashion.

I am the antithesis of a fashionista. Many times I have tried to make a vow to improve my fashion sense. It never works. And the reason is very simple. I have no taste for fashion. I don't understand what it is and I don't understand how to put it together. To me, clothes are comfortable... not necessarily attractive.

That said, I do have advisors (my sister and husband among them) so that I don't walk out of the house looking like any of these REAL people I have seen at the library:

• No Shirt Guy - Dude... put some clothes on. You may be a skinny, nineteen-year-old in your sexual prime, but the library is air conditioned and you can certainly find a wife-beater shirt at the very least to throw on for a few minutes while you troll myspace.
• Almost No Skirt Chick - Honey, there are young boys in this library, and we prefer that they get their anatomy lesson from books rather than real-life examples. Mothers are complaining because not only is your thong clearly visible above your waist, but your cheeks are hanging out the back, and your privates can no longer be considered private.
• Jailin' Thug - PULL UP YOUR PANTS! If nothing else, aren't you completely uncomfortable? Let me give you a clue... if we want to know whether you wear boxers or briefs, we want to find out on our own. Keep up a little air of mystery.
• Sleepy Chick - You are a beautiful young woman. What on EARTH would possess you to wear your pajamas with Stewie slippers into the library. At your age, you are supposed to be completely neurotic about your looks and what boys think. I suppose I should praise you for your lack of regard for others' opinions, but STEWIE slippers?! Egad.

end fashion rant.

Television - Sedatives for Men

Chris posted The Guys' Rules yesterday, and I thought I would expand on the television-related ones.

Sunday, I asked Chris if he would help me make cookies while Athena was napping. Athena, unfortunately, wouldn't nap... so Chris couldn't really help. Fortunately, Marcus was only mildly fussy, but the television was on... and his bouncy seat was awfully close to the sub-woofer. So I turned it off. There was nothing on anyway, and the damn thing had been on all day.

Chris came down like two seconds after I turned it off, and you won't believe this, but he turned it back on and proceded to flip through all the channels I had JUST flipped through. He, however, found something to watch... BlackHawk Down.

Now, it's bad enough that he can't participate in the cookie-making as he has to make regular trips upstairs to corral the tot. But then he selects a war movie. I don't like war movies, personally, and I don't think they are appropriate for the children. Within a minute, Chris had to go back upstairs to tend to Athena, and I turned the TV back off. One never knows if Chris will return from upstairs... the computer may lure him into her evil web and he could be up there for an hour. I wasn't about to watch people get shot up while trying to enjoy my cookie dough and appease a cranky 2-month-old.

He returned rather quickly (Ms. Computer was apparently not so intriguing) and immediately asked, "Why is this off?" while gesturing at the TV.

Not only is this an absurd question... after all... televisions aren't known to turn themselves off... but wtf? Can we not exist in a room without television for two minutes?

Cop Magnet

Some people are chick magnets. Some people are money magnets. (Or is that Magnate... whatever). And then there are people like Jason and Brian D. who are magnets for any kind of chaos or bad stuff that is out there... the more implausible, the better. Jason is the sort of guy who can have a three-of-a-kind, and invariably there is someone at the table with a full house... or even a royal flush. If it's going to happen in the game, it will be when Jason has three aces. But I digress...

I, dear friends, am a cop magnet. My friend Jack was once laughing at me (okay, he laughs at me all the time... but I'm referring to one time in particular) because I am such a law-abiding citizen. I don't speed, and I refuse to have anything in the house that was pirated (music, movies, etc.). Chris sneaks stuff by me, but if I find it, I destroy it. Basically, no matter how inane the law is, I will follow it.

I'd like to say that the reason for this is because I am a really good person and citizen of this here planet. However, the truth is, I follow the law because if I don't, I will get caught. Ever since I was a tyke, I can't seem to get away with anything. I've been stopped four times for speeding, and I have four speeding tickets to show for it. I have NEVER been "let go." The closest I've come to getting a warning is when a cop pulled me over at midnight on an empty highway when I was by myself because he THOUGHT I was speeding (I wasn't) and then he noticed my license plate wasn't in his computer (NCDMV are never in a hurry to do their paperwork). When he told me why he pulled me, I asked him if he knew I was a woman by myself when he turned on his lights. He said, "Yes." This was at the height of "blue-light bandits" in NC... there had been a rash of attacks. Ass.

Anyway, in addition to my tickets, my very first two-car accident involved me backing into a police car at a very low speed in a parking lot. Mind you, the officer was at fault, and did all but admit that it was his fault. I was sixteen and it was dark. My reverse lights were working and were on. I was driving a '79 Cadillac de Ville. There was a truck on one side of me and a van on the other. I couldn't see very well around them, so I was going VERY slowly. There is no way said cop couldn't have seen me. The butt of that car was roughly the size of Rhode Island. Yet he continued to move forward in the parking lot, causing me to bump his front fender. Imagine being sixteen and licensed to drive for about a month, and seeing that you have just hit a police car. I can laugh about it now...

So today, I added to my list of cop weirdness when, much to my surprise, in the McDonald's drive-thru this morning (and believe it or not, it wasn't THAT McDonald's), a cop rear-ended ME. It was only a slight bump, and no damage was done. But really... what are the chances? *sigh*

Dream Dinners. Seriously.

Last Thursday, I tried something I have been dying to do for some time. I've been wanting to "feed the freezer," as my father used to call it. Basically, I was looking for a way to prepare several meals all at once and freeze them. Then I could thaw them and cook them on weeknights when I have less time.

To this end, I've checked out several cookbooks from the library that guide you through doing this. There are many of them out there -- many of them designed to have you cook thirty meals all on one day. That's basically eight hours of cooking. But the payoff is you have a whole month of meals at the ready.

As I read these, I was struck by several problems... the least of which was "Will I like this food?" In many cases, it didn't look all that tasty. And then, one day, I was browsing the paper and saw that one of these places was opening in my neighborhood. Dream Dinners was founded on the concept that busy women WANT to cook for their families, but just don't always have time to do it. The woman who founded it was running a catering company and had a friend into her kitchen one weekend to cook a few meals for the freezer. Soon, her friends and her friend's friends were calling her to see if THEY could come to her kitchen. It didn't take her long to realize there was a market for this.

So on Thursday at noon, I went to the new Dream Dinners store. It's about five minutes from my house. And in two hours and 15 minutes, I had 12 meals ready for the freezer. The coolest thing about this concept is you don't actually cook anything. You just put the meal together. Some meals have precooked ingredients like ground beef or chicken. All the ingredients are laid out with the appropriate measuring instruments in them. You just assemble it the way you like it. For instance, if something has red peppers and you don't like red peppers... leave 'em out.

It's affordable too, when you consider the groceries you don't need to buy (all entrees have meat, so it's not for you herbivores out there) and the time you save both at the store and at home each night. Each meal is 4-6 servings, so there is plenty for your family, or for two dinners if it's just two of you.

I loaded up my cooler, then went home and loaded up my freezer. All the food looked remarkable. I had all sorts of variety too, from a Chicago-style deep dish pizza to a macaroni casserole to chicken and bacon crepes.

The final test was tonight. I moved two meals to the freezer on Saturday to defrost for this week. We made the first one tonight -- Grilled Salmon with Garlic Dill Butter. In my case, the salmon was broiled, as our grill is kind of irritating. And it is Atlantic Salmon, which isn't my favorite. But let me tell you, our dinner was scrumptious. I should have taken a photo. It looked as good as it tasted. And it was SO easy and quick. Not that salmon is really difficult, but had I made the butter from scratch TONIGHT instead of last week, it would have taken me an extra thirty minutes to gather and assemble the ingredients. Not to mention the extra groceries I would have needed. For instance... capers. Not your everyday ingredient (although I admit I have a bottle in the cupboard.

So our next "Dream Dinner" will be on Friday, when we will have Morrocan Marinated Pork Roast. I'll let you know how it turns out!

I Have Returned!

Well, today was the momentous day... my first day back at work. Fortunately, I had a sort of meeting this morning, and I'm only working half-days until Friday, so my day was easy and fairly uneventful, work-wise. The day did have its moments, though. Wanna hear about 'em? No? Then quit reading now.

For those of you brave to continue onward through my post...

At 2:30 AM, Marcus awoke for his one and only feeding over the night. This is really good! I was pleased! He only munched on one boob, though, and this means that I had extra that needed to go somewhere. So instead of returning to bed immediately upon plopping el kiddo back in his swing, I had to hang around awake upstairs to be sure he was really asleep, then creep downstairs to pump. That takes about 10-15 minutes, but the set-up and clean-up add another 10-15... so I was back in bed around 3:30. While I was cleaning up, I heard much squeaking coming from our pantry. "Aha!" I exclaimed! "We have trapped that devilish mouse! Hooray!"

A little later, the three of us... Chris, Marcus, and myself... all managed to sleep through the 5:30 alarm Chris had so carefully set the night before. We're not sure how we ALL missed the alarm, but we are guessing that the volume was too low for us to hear. So, I woke up at 6:30. This was the time I used to rise when I only had one child, and she is pretty self-sufficient now. Basically, I had to do nothing for her in the mornings, as Chris did most of what she needed. In fact, often she was asleep until after I left. Marcus, on the other hand, requires feeding (something that does not allow me to multitask), bottle preparation for his day ahead, not to mention changing, dressing, etc. So I really needed the extra hour. And the proof of that is in the pudding. I was an hour late to work this morning. Again, fortunately, I only had a meeting, and I don't believe it was scheduled to start until 9, so all was well. I just stayed later than I expected to.

While I was showering, I sent Chris downstairs to tend to the little mouse who has been eating our Doritos and pooping on my cookbooks. Unfortunately, I came downstairs before Chris had finished his work. I had expected that the mouse would be part of our catch-and-release program. Instead, he met a very bloody end at my husband's hands. Although I do not blame him for terminating the rodent's life, I was caught by surprise. I did not see the actual end, but I heard it, and let me tell you, it broke my heart. So that was my first cry of the morning. Over a freaking mouse. One that had ruined a good deal of my food, mind you. Now we have to clean out the pantry AGAIN. Who knew there were two mice?! Damn cat.

I went to prepare Marcus' bottles, and the damn breastmilk was still frozen. I made bottles for Athena for three months with breastmilk two years ago, and they had ALWAYS thawed overnight. These were still frozen solid. So I had to thaw them on the stovetop, and naturally, they actually got warmed a little. This is not good for breastmilk. Hopefully, I haven't given my son food poisoning.

To further complicate my morning routine, I had to take the kids to daycare. It was my own fault, as poor planning on my part meant that Chris had to stay home to wait for some service people and let them into the house. And I don't really mind taking them to daycare. Athena sings songs for me, and Marcus... well, apparently he wails most of the way there.

Anyway, we get there, and you would not believe how complicated it can be to drop off two kids in two separate rooms. Each child has a bit of paperwork you have to complete each morning. And you can't wear shoes in the infant room. So I tossed Marcus and his carseat into the infant room and shouted to Ms. Penny that I would be right back to check him in officially. My plan was to then whisk Athena two doors down to her classroom and quickly fill out her stuff, then run back to the infant room to unload bottles and talk to the teachers about Marcus' feeding schedule. But Athena, as one might guess, had other plans.

"MAAAAAAAAAAAAAARCUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS" she wailed. Apparently, the two have become rather close, and she just couldn't bear to leave him. She cried. She pled. She pressed her face up against the window to his classroom. It broke my heart. I cried. Again. After the teachers promised Athena she could come back later in the morning to visit, Athena grudgingly took my hand and allowed herself to be led to her classroom.

But once we were there, I was not permitted to leave. She asked nicely to be picked up, so I did, but then she clamped her legs around my waist so hard that had I let go of her, she would have just sat there, attached to my waist, sitting on my hip. Finally, a teacher was able to lure her away with promises of animal pictures.

I finally left daycare after a few more minutes with Marcus, and headed to work. I needed to stop at McDonald's to get something to eat, despite the fact that I was already late. Unforunately, the only place even close to on the way is THE McDonald's. You remember? The one in Cary? So naturally, it took 15 minutes to get through the drive thru.

Work was probably the easiest part of my day. The only bummer was that I found out the last interview for that job at the local library was at 3pm today. So I will probably have to wait until tomorrow (or later) to find out if I have been selected. Many people said they were pulling for me. Unfortunately, none of them actually interviewed me.

I got home and began chores. Laundry and organizing the clutter in the kitchen and dining room in the hopes of ridding ourselves of it. Now I have to start dinner. If nothing else, going back to work really picks up the pace of my life. I'm going to be exhausted tonight. Wait, I already am.

The Final Countdown

(Has my title put that awful song in your head?! It's driving me crazy!!)

This is my last week of maternity leave, and I have never felt less ready to get back to work. My interview was, in my opinion, completely awful. I can't think straight and I can't get my head back into work. The job I interviewed for is so close to my house and would be an ideal position for me. However, my previous luck with interviews this past twelve months has me reeling still, and my confidence is in the toilet. I feel like I came across as scatterbrained, weak, and incompetent. Of course, I've believed I've tanked interviews before and I end up getting the job, so we'll see.

On Monday, I start back, but only part time. I'm working half-days Monday through Thursday, then a whole day on Friday. The following week I'm back up to full time. I'm hoping that will make the transition easier. Also, I took Marcus into daycare yesterday and I'm doing so again tomorrow... just in the afternoon. I couldn't believe how much it bothered me to drop him off. I was nervous the first day I left Athena. She was only six weeks old and so helpless. But this guy is much more independent (not that he's doing anything on his own... he's just more communicative and easy-going), and two weeks older than Athena was, and yet I still feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest when I leave him. I never had that strong a feeling when I left Athena. It's odd.

Still looking for a business partner to buy/run a franchise with me. Any interest out there? Send me an email. This would, of course, require that you live in the area. :-)

One Little Monkey Jumping on the Bed

Athena is sleeping in her big girl bed tonight. I am beside myself with excitement. We had no solid plan for how to move her into her new bedroom with her new big HUGE bed, but we've been asking her from time to time if she wants to sleep in her big girl bed that night. She always said, "No." But tonight, she said "Yeah!"

We moved her CD player (with its lullaby CD -- a birthday gift from Aunt Lisa) and her favorite blanket into the room. At first, she jumped under the covers, put her head on her pillow, and started twirling her hair (her own sign language for, "Damn, I'm sleepy!" But when Chris first closed the door on her, she started wailing.

He went back in and tried to reassure her, but exit number two brought on the same tears. Upon exit number three, Chris made it to our bedroom door, but soon our little "big girl" was opening the door to come out. I went in and laid down on the bed with her, very aware that I COULD not offer to sleep with her that first night or else I would never get to sleep in my own bed again.

When she wouldn't settle down, I asked her if she would rather be in her crib. "NO! NO CRIB!" was the adamant reply. But then she ran out of the room. I caught her after cornering her in OUR room and carried her to her crib. I figured she would just collapse from exhaustion and from comfort in being back in "her own bed" (soon to be Marcus' own bed). Instead, she screamed like a Banshee. She did NOT want to be in her crib... apparently EVER again.

We returned to her new room and I explained that if she wanted to sleep in her bed, she had to stay in her room. I told her that if she came out of the room again before morning, she would have to go back into the crib. And guess what! It worked! She's been in bed for an hour and a half now. Granted, the night's not over, but I am shamelessly optimistic.

Funky Town

Chris worked from home today, and he got a wild hair to pick Athena up early and take her out for some fun. His original idea was to play Putt-Putt, but it was raining lightly, so we went to Bullwinkles instead. (Not familiar with it? Think of Chuck E. Cheese, but with Rocky and Bullwinkle instead.)

Food was decent, show didn't happen because we were too early, and Athena was only really interested in the Skee-Ball, but we had a good time. Then we went to downtown Apex (don't laugh... it's a whole three blocks, but it's nifty) and had ice cream. Athena had a cone and when her ice cream was gone (some was spilled to the floor), she held up her cone to get a refill. When I told her it didn't work that way, she started following the ice cream scooper lady around the store holding it up for her to refill. I wish I'd had a video camera.

On the way home (okay, honestly, it was on the way to get ice cream, so I'm taking a little license with story sequence for the sake of flow...), we were listening to a new station I stumbled across while in Greensboro a few weeks ago. Their call numbers are WSMW 98.7. They refer to themselves as "Simon," they have no djs except in the morning, and their tag line is "We play everything." They aren't kidding. It's like listening to someone's iPod Shuffle.

To date, I have heard the following songs (in no particular order and this does not include ALL songs... just the ones that stand out.) Keep in mind that these songs are played back to back...

Kiss - Rock and Roll All Night
Cyndi Lauper - She Bop
Styx - Come Sail Away
Duran Duran - Rio, New Moon on Monday, AND Union of the Snake
Olivia and John - Summer Lovin'
George Clinton - Atomic Dog
Howard Jones - No One Is To Blame
The Rolling Stones - hmmm... can't remember which one now
AND they have played various hits from the nineties and today.

However, tonight, they played Funkytown by Lipps, Inc. As soon as it started, Chris and I started bobbing our heads to the beat like the white folk we are. I glanced in my rearview and little Athena was bobbing right along with us. The kicker is, she wasn't even looking at us. She was staring out the window... so her head bob was totally her own. Primitive instincts... so cool.

Loved Ones: A Cathartic Stream-of-Consciousness Post

Lately, the theme of friends and family has been pushing itself into the front of my brain. Tempura73 just posted about her family being two days away in Malaysia. My husband has been learning a lot about his family (he isn't even sure how old he was when his parents divorced, so he obviously has a lot to study), and I learned that I will not be able to go to Seattle before my maternity leave is up to see my sister and two very good friends who I NEVER get to see (as they live in Washington, which is VERY far away from North Carolina for those of you who failed Jessey's Geography Test). I also had a wonderful visit with Sophie, but that only proved that Charlotte can seem as far away from me as Washington State is. And even my local friends are wrapped up in work and other personal issues (Jamie, I'm thinking of you... we need to do lunch soon), that I simply can't connect with them as much as I should.

So all these things make me think of how lucky I am to have such a wonderful family and circle of friends, and that makes me wonder why I feel sad to think about them. Is it a fear of losing someone? Is it just lonliness from being surrounded by a baby all day? Or is it the empty-brain syndrom I have from lack of sleep?

This morning, I was up at the right time so that I could get the baby fed and situated before Chris and Athena headed downstairs for breakfast. I have not eaten breakfast with them on a weekday since before Marcus was born. This morning, I was not only able to make Athena breakfast (pouring cereal counts, right?), but I was able to eat my breakfast with them AND I was able to pack a lunch for Chris. Then, when Chris got home, I made dinner for us all for the SECOND night in a row! The satisfaction I gained from doing something for Chris and Athena -- as domestic as it was -- was downright intoxicating.

I also saw several of my work friends today, as Marcus and I attended a baby shower at our administrative offices. I have great friends at work, and I was having so much fun visiting that I didn't want to leave when they all headed into a meeting after the shower.

My mother and her best friend each attended funerals this weekend - for different people. One of the people who died was 44. She had cancer. And a 13-year-old son. Cancer runs in my family. It runs in Chris' as well. In fact, Chris' father had it four times before it finally emerged victorious. Needless to say, I don't like cancer very much.

So why this blathering? I don't know. I'm just glad to have so many loved ones, and I don't want anything bad to happen to them. Y'all take care of yourselves, okay?

Athena is Two!

The Remote Control Pound Puppy. AKA Dad's Toy.


Athena's only guest her age, Aiden, and his dad, with the bubble machine.


She loves her new trike.


The Homemade Cake (thank you, Pampered Chef!)

Presents and Cake

Baby Talk

MARCUS: So, uh, you want to go get a latte?

ELISE: Sure, although I prefer espresso, if that's okay.

MARCUS: Great! I'll drive.

ELISE: Okay, but can we wait until you can see over the wheel?

MARCUS: Okay. If you think that's important.

ELISE: Besides, this vibrating chair is pretty comfy.

MARCUS: Good point.