Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Loved Ones: A Cathartic Stream-of-Consciousness Post

Lately, the theme of friends and family has been pushing itself into the front of my brain. Tempura73 just posted about her family being two days away in Malaysia. My husband has been learning a lot about his family (he isn't even sure how old he was when his parents divorced, so he obviously has a lot to study), and I learned that I will not be able to go to Seattle before my maternity leave is up to see my sister and two very good friends who I NEVER get to see (as they live in Washington, which is VERY far away from North Carolina for those of you who failed Jessey's Geography Test). I also had a wonderful visit with Sophie, but that only proved that Charlotte can seem as far away from me as Washington State is. And even my local friends are wrapped up in work and other personal issues (Jamie, I'm thinking of you... we need to do lunch soon), that I simply can't connect with them as much as I should.

So all these things make me think of how lucky I am to have such a wonderful family and circle of friends, and that makes me wonder why I feel sad to think about them. Is it a fear of losing someone? Is it just lonliness from being surrounded by a baby all day? Or is it the empty-brain syndrom I have from lack of sleep?

This morning, I was up at the right time so that I could get the baby fed and situated before Chris and Athena headed downstairs for breakfast. I have not eaten breakfast with them on a weekday since before Marcus was born. This morning, I was not only able to make Athena breakfast (pouring cereal counts, right?), but I was able to eat my breakfast with them AND I was able to pack a lunch for Chris. Then, when Chris got home, I made dinner for us all for the SECOND night in a row! The satisfaction I gained from doing something for Chris and Athena -- as domestic as it was -- was downright intoxicating.

I also saw several of my work friends today, as Marcus and I attended a baby shower at our administrative offices. I have great friends at work, and I was having so much fun visiting that I didn't want to leave when they all headed into a meeting after the shower.

My mother and her best friend each attended funerals this weekend - for different people. One of the people who died was 44. She had cancer. And a 13-year-old son. Cancer runs in my family. It runs in Chris' as well. In fact, Chris' father had it four times before it finally emerged victorious. Needless to say, I don't like cancer very much.

So why this blathering? I don't know. I'm just glad to have so many loved ones, and I don't want anything bad to happen to them. Y'all take care of yourselves, okay?

3 comments:

A Girl From Texas said...

That was a sweet post. I think that you're probably just afraid of losing your connection. Perhaps once you get into your new routine you'll incorporate friends back in again.

I would guess that there is something very satisfactory in taking care of love ones.

Judy said...

Yeah, I know what you mean. I miss my friends all the time. The older you get, the worse it is, because you have less time, less energy, and more people you'd like to be in touch with.

Jessey said...

I know how you feel. My family and my husband and my children all make me crazy insano, but I love them. I know they're all nuts, but they'd drop everything for me as I would for them.
Example:
My mom called me last night to tell me (again) that her phone was broken. She admitted to having partaken in ONE martini, hmm, perhaps she also took an Ambien? Anyway, she is funny when she's a little tipsy. By funny I mean, slightly amusing and sort of annoying. But, aren't we all?

Today she offered to go to Costco (which is on her way home in her part of the country and at least two hours away for me in mine) and see if they have the cheap Claritin, which I heard they did.
Nice.