Tuesday, September 21, 2010

The Year That Needs to Die

So I have been away from blogging for a while. There have been several factors involved in my separation... many of which involve personal introspection that even journaling would not help with. But I must admit that I feel guilty that these last couple of years are completely now outside the scope of this blog and therefore they will be non-years in effect when I read back over my writing or when my children read back over it. The reason I've never felt that I'd abandon blogging forever, in truth, is my children.

This has been reinforced as I now troll through my mother's things and find lots and lots of junk with little tiny treasures sprinkled in. There is a picture of my grandmother while she was on vacation at a place that inspired one of the Disney resorts I have patronized. There is the furniture that my father made for my mother to display her shadowboxes in. And there is the typed up collection of letters that my grandmother sent to my grandfather daily when he was away during World War II and she was home with my mother and her infant brother. These remind me how important it will be for my children to have my writing in order to get to know me better and to learn more about themselves as well.

Most of the time I've been away from blogging has been simply due to writer's block brought on by several different factors. During that time, I was reexamining my life and my priorities. I still haven't quite got it figured out, but a path seems to be emerging for me to take.

But since November of 2009, when we took our 10th anniversary vacation, life has simply been too extreme to really keep up with it in writing. We had a one month battle with lice that we seem to have picked up on the cruise. That was followed by Christmas, which was then closely followed by my mother's diagnosis with cancer. She died a month later and I feel very fortunate that my job allowed me to spend so much time with her. Not just my job, really, but my immediate family too. Chris was exactly the support I needed through that time, and I had some very good friends who also propped me up and carried me through it.

One month after my mother's death, one of the members of my staff died suddenly of a stroke. One cannot really appreciate the loss this coworker's death brought to me and the people I work with. She was an extraordinary human being, and I don't say that lightly.

On the heels of that, Chris was furloughed indefinitely, slashing our income by more than half, just as we happened to begin receiving inheritance from my mother. To say that the timing was extremely important devalues how lucky we really are. As Chris looked for work, I learned that the libraries were restructuring. This restructure resulted in an intense interview process in which I was successful and earned a promotion of sorts. This promotion moved me to a new library, but one I am very happy to be a part of. Soon after I learned I got the job, Chris also got a job, and we began to look for a house. The market is good for buying and we figured we would see what was out there.

In July, we found a house in distress and made an offer. We had knowledge of a mold problem in the home, which is not unusual in foreclosures, so we made an offer that was contigent on the mold being remediated. Two months later (one month after the original close date) we have just learned that the mold is absolutely remediated and on top of that, we got a beautiful new bathroom out of the deal. The bank has been very generous in fixing this house to make it safe for my family and we are so grateful to be moving into a beautiful home within two miles of my work and significantly closer to Chris' job as well.

Over the summer, we also battled lice again and this time, the fight was drawn out because of policies at our day care that I was unaware of. Suffice it to say, the lice are gone and I don't expect them to be back. But we are checking regularly now. Not taking any chances.

We should be moving by mid-October, although the process will begin almost as soon as we close on the house. We then need to sell this house and although we have a buffer in place, I am very nervous about selling in this market.

Still, that said, I am giving myself until the end of the year to expect the stress level to be high, and then 2010 needs to go away and never be heard from again. I have no idea if anyone is even really reading blogs anymore with Facebook and so many other venues available to them, but for me, I hope to really return to saving our lives in writing for my children. I now know how much they will value it.