Thursday, May 25, 2006

Library Dress Code

I do not like to make snide comments about library patrons and any irritating qualities they may have. It is unprofessional, and after all, they are my bread and butter. And goodness knows I do stupid things every now and then... so I'm not about to start a blog that natters on about the low IQ of the general public in an attempt to make myself look smarter. Truth is... I'm not that smart. But don't tell anyone. (If you want such a blog, try this one. I was reading it when I went into labor. I actually thought the initials labor pains were from laughing so hard.)

However, sometimes people do things that are just plain irritating, and sometimes it happens to be in a library. I am confident that the bad parents I previously ranted about are bad parents OUTSIDE of the library as well. I can only speak for what I observe IN the library, as that is where I am all the time.

Today, my topic is not parenting (for a change) but fashion.

I am the antithesis of a fashionista. Many times I have tried to make a vow to improve my fashion sense. It never works. And the reason is very simple. I have no taste for fashion. I don't understand what it is and I don't understand how to put it together. To me, clothes are comfortable... not necessarily attractive.

That said, I do have advisors (my sister and husband among them) so that I don't walk out of the house looking like any of these REAL people I have seen at the library:

  • No Shirt Guy - Dude... put some clothes on. You may be a skinny, nineteen-year-old in your sexual prime, but the library is air conditioned and you can certainly find a wife-beater shirt at the very least to throw on for a few minutes while you troll myspace.
  • Almost No Skirt Chick - Honey, there are young boys in this library, and we prefer that they get their anatomy lesson from books rather than real-life examples. Mothers are complaining because not only is your thong clearly visible above your waist, but your cheeks are hanging out the back, and your privates can no longer be considered private.
  • Jailin' Thug - PULL UP YOUR PANTS! If nothing else, aren't you completely uncomfortable? Let me give you a clue... if we want to know whether you wear boxers or briefs, we want to find out on our own. Keep up a little air of mystery.
  • Sleepy Chick - You are a beautiful young woman. What on EARTH would possess you to wear your pajamas with Stewie slippers into the library. At your age, you are supposed to be completely neurotic about your looks and what boys think. I suppose I should praise you for your lack of regard for others' opinions, but STEWIE slippers?! Egad.

end fashion rant.


Jessey said...

I don't know what started the "pajama pants are actual pants" trend among teenage girls, but it's viral and it's rampant.
It's really quite disturbing.

I don't even want to be seen in my front yard taking out the trash in my pajama pants - and they're cute - I certainly don't see myself strolling into the supermarket in my pajamas.

Once, I was at Walmart at the returns counter. There was a woman there who lost her keys AT A WALMART. Hello, needle, haystack. Anyway, she was standing there waiting for someone else to find her keys. I suspect they put a "stat" on that command because this woman was easily 250 pounds, did not wear it well and also did not wear a bra.
Boobs at the waist. Not cute. That should be illegal.

A Girl From Texas said...

I didn't know what Stewie slippers I Googled them.

You wouldn't catch me dead in them.

Staci said...

I was most definitely the girl going into the store/library/school wearing slippers. I had a pair of Odie slippers. LOVED 'em! Hell, ok, I admit it. Im still that girl. However, I always wore a bra and kept my panties hidden!

None of the fashion faus paux you mentioned bug me as much as the sandals and socks thing.

eaf said...

And oddly, I've never noticed the sandals with socks thing here. I also haven't seen anyone wear jeans under a skirt, which should be a shooting offense.

Although I think I did that once in high school...

And as for no bra... I would rather see a black bra under a white shirt ala Ms. Spears than no bra at all. Blech.

Jessey said...

indeed. lesser of two evils.

Cathy said...

The socks and sandals thing is big in the Northwest. They will sometimes complete the look with cargo shorts and a fleece. You got used to it. (but I never wore them.)

I hate the pajama pant thing, too. There's no denying that they're comfortable, but c'mon!

eaf said...

It figures that the day I post this, someone walks in requiring me to update it:

Note to lady at the computer: Strapless dresses require strapless bras. They also require that you weigh less than 250 pounds. If you MUST wear a bra with your strapless dress, one with cute decorative straps is recommended over the 18-hour industrial strapped thing you have selected. Thank you.

Sophie said...

What cracks me up is the women who dress up in sporty shorts and sneakers to go to the mall (dressed as if they are on their way to the gym) and they take the elevator instead of the stairs to get to the second mall level. Lazy Lazy!!

Jessey said...

Argh! I don't understand how people can possible think it's ok to walk around showing me their underwear!!!!

I was in the grocery store a while back and there was a man walking around with his pants ripped in the back (like a big hole, big enough to put a gallon of milk through) and his boxer shorts and part of a leg clearly visible through said hole!
How do you justify leaving the house like that? HOW!
Aren't there public indecency laws that cover this rampant uncovering of underthings?

Cathy said...

Just be glad that there were boxer shorts, Jessey!

Jessey said...

Amen, Cathy.

I was horrified.

I think this was the same day that I dropped a gallon of milk and it broke in the store and chugged out seems like the trauma of seeing a strange man's underpants would make you drop a gallon of milk, right???