Tuesday, April 04, 2006

And We Thought America Was Paranoid of Lawsuits

Recently, Jessey called me out on my use of British English when I am not at all British. To my credit, I said "boot of the car" because my car is an SUV, and therefore doesn't actually have a trunk. What do you call the back of an SUV anyway? Is it still a trunk? I guess I used the British word because I don't know the American one...

Anyway, Cheryl and Wayne, our dear friends in London, sent us a baby gift, which we received yesterday. (Thank you, Cheryl. Your thank you note is on the way. When I say that, what I mean is, I am considering writing that note as I type this, not that it's actually in the mail or anything -- or is that "in the post?") It consisted of seven ADORABLE onesies (size 12-18 month... yay), five CUTE bibs, and a little giraffe for Athena. By odd coincidence, when Marcus was born, he also gave Athena a little giraffe. She's building quite a collection. But I digress...

Attached to the bibs was a tag that was bright red and very scary. Clearly, it was a warning label that I needed to read. Perhaps the bibs are lined with lead. Or maybe they could choke my little dear if worn incorrectly. So I read it. And I believe it is important information that we ALL should have. So here, dear readers, it what it said... word for word on both sides of the tag:

Marks & Spencer
IN THE INTEREST
OF SAFETY, IT IS
ADVISABLE TO
KEEP YOUR CHILD
AWAY FROM FIRE
AND FLAMES
Whew! I am SO glad they told me that. Guess I need to take the kid out of the fireplace now.

6 comments:

jen said...

What I love is that everything--EVERYTHING!--from clothes to food to, well, everything--in Britain has a little disclaimer on it that state "blah blah whatever...this does not affect your statutory rights." Even though I'm quite sure that that phrase refers to whatever statement precedes it, it's always good to know that Kraft Cheesy Pasta (mac n'cheese), or a can of Spaghetti O's, or a tank top from M&S (and oh, how I love Marks & Spencer...but that's another story!) does not affect my statutory rights. Thank God.

jen said...

Okay, just wanted to make sure that it's noted that the previous post is supposed to be a tad bit sarcastic. Upon rereading, I wasn't sure that came across, or if I just sounded like an idiot. Or maybe both.

Jessey said...

My favorite warning is on my package of butter. I'll have to post a pic on my site, it's too funny to just talk about, it must be seen.

Brant said...

we've been dealing with SUVs for a while, we call the back, the "way-back" to separate it from the "back seat"...

Amy said...

You know they come up with these because people are so insanely sue-happy. I know one friend who got a call from somebody wanting to sue some frozen food company because she found a chicken bone in her chicken pot pie. The bone didn't make her choke, didn't break a tooth, she didn't even eat it. Just found a chicken bone in her chicken pot pie.

Jessey said...

Personally, I'd be more upset to find a chicken bone in my turkey pot pie.
But that's just me.

I get the impulse to sue everyone for every wrong or supposed wrong.
Like today, I opened up a brand new gallon of milk set to expire two days from now and it was no longer milk. It was yogurt. No lie, it was friggin yogurt.
But did I sue over it? No! I just poured it down the toilet into the septic tank and bought a new gallon of milk.