Sunday, January 22, 2006

My Husband and His Women

This post was partly inspired by some of the events of this past weekend in Charlotte (spent with some of our best friends and detailed quite well by my spouse here) and partly by a recent post by one of my "blog buddies" here. (By "blog buddy," I simple mean someone who I don't actually know personally, but who I know through reading her blog.) And know, before reading any further, that I in no way doubt my husband's love for me or his fidelity. I think sometimes one can come across as a bit insecure in a blog, and I would hate for you to think that I am actually pondering what day of next week my husband plans to leave me. Honestly, if he's put up with me thus far, I really can't imagine he's going anywhere. This is just fun for us to kid each other about. We do, in case you haven't noticed, take great pleasure in ribbing each other ruthlessly.

Chris and I have a running gag, if you will, in which he has some sort of action arranged on the side and I just shrug it off. For instance... he may tell me something that I know he has never told me before (because I do actually pay attention to what he says) and I tell him so. He then counters with "I'm sure I told you," to which I reply "That must have been your OTHER wife," or "That must have been your girlfriend." We have glorious yucks over that, and it generally mixes in well with the rest of our witty banter. There is also the comments made when my normal night shift is altered in some way, and I tell him he has to make arrangements for his girlfriend not to show up that night. Usually, he replies with something along the lines of, "Thanks for letting me know. I'll call them." hahahaha... what a guy... ;-)

Also, from the moment we met, I noticed that he flirts with waitresses. It is the absolute weirdest thing to me... of all species of women out there, and all the people he comes in contact with on a daily basis, he turns on the charm for restaurant personnel. Now, this is nothing against dining establishments and their employees. In fact, often these women are quite attractive, and my husband isn't the only one who notices. However, it struck me as especially odd because most people see him as a bit aloof and cold when they first meet him. Indeed, he does come across at many first meetings as a bit distanced and reserved. Some of my closest friends (especially one in particular who I will not mention by name so as not to embarrass her, but whose name rhymes with Cathy) thought he was a complete asshole (their word... not mine) when they first met him. Now they love him. So why he just oozes flirt juice whenever we are in a restaurant when he didn't even feel the slightest need to charm my closest friends is beyond me. And I love to rib him about it. He just shrugs...

And now lately, he has the ultimate female-luring pheromone there is--The World's Cutest Almost-21-Month-Old Daughter. Folks, this is no exaggeration. Women, especially women of the 18-year-old, model thin, belly-button pierced, not-naturally-blonde type, are completely drawn to our daughter and her doting father. And it NEVER FAILS.

Now, I will be the first to admit that there is really nothing sexier than a father doting on his child... especially if the child happens to be a cute little girl with wild hair and a dazzling smile. However, what I have observed since the birth of my child would make an excellent human sexuality and behavior thesis.

Basically, wherever we go with our little tot, at least one attractive woman will wave to her and talk to her and smile at her and at my husband. And this occurs whether I am present or not. I am generally not acknowledged. However, Athena is the center of attention, and the follow up looks are all for him. I finally just out and asked him this weekend if he has been training Athena to choose these women... and he weakly denied it. I'm still not so sure.

This weekend, we were sitting with our friends in Charlotte at a family seafood place chatting and laughing and eating. I noticed Athena was almost completely turned around in her booster seat waving and smiling at someone. I look up, and what do you know... in a restaurant full of people of all ages, shapes, and sizes... she was waving at the two most attractive, most 18-year-old women in the place. Now, tell me he isn't coaching her! :-)

So now I wonder... is a woman sexier if she has a strapping young infant son in her arms? We shall have to see...

14 comments:

Chris said...

It is a widely known fact that little children (no larger than toddlers) are chic magnets. No training is necessary.

It is also widely known that this does not work both ways. A woman with a toddler does not attract men. Just a fact of life.

eaf said...

"chick magnet"

"chic" is French and means something quite different. ;-)

And double standards suck.

Chris said...

Eh, I missed a "K". The double standard exists whether you think it sucks or not.

Amy said...

Isn't it weird how a guy with a baby attracts women? They find him sexy because he's a doting father and (presumably) husband. So if they were able to lure him away. . .umm, that means he's a sleaze.

My husband and I also joke about having something on the side. If I call him at work and he's not there, if I answer the phone and say "wrong number", we say it's the other guy/gal. We also say we have a sham marriage. Like, if I go upstairs b/c I don't want to watch what he's watching, as I walk up the stairs he'll say "What a joke, this marriage is a sham."

I guess after hearing all the stories and jokes you just have to come up with strange new ones.

Chris said...

Pretty much, Amy. I think another aspect of the "doting father" bit is that he's technically "safe". Most people always desire what they cannot have, which causes problems when they actually find out it's not the case.

Cathy said...

Isn't it also strange/sad that a man who pays attention to a woman with a small child is regarded as either hitting on her, or worse, some kind of pedophile? Men just can't win. :(

eaf said...

True, Cathy, although many times when these women actually talk to Chris, I am fairly certain that if he were to actually ask them to go for a coffee or something, they would very likely say yes. Not always, but sometimes. So in a way, often the women are hitting on him... or at least opening up the door for him.

Chris said...

Which is frickin' bizarre because, you know, my daughter is sitting on my lap!

eaf said...

The more I think about it, the more I think it's Darwin at work. A woman isn't thinking it consciously, but her inner workings are telling her, "Look, he can obviously produce a strong, healthy offspring." That sets off the hormones. Makes sense... survival of the fittest and all...

Cathy said...

It's what the man and the toddler represent that is so attractive to these women. Let's face it, a large portion of the females walking this earth want a man and a baby. Isn't it only natural for all of us to only show interest in those things we are interested in...having a man and baby of our own?

As for flirting with waitresses, my daddy has always done this. He still does it at 80 years old. His favorite line..."do you take orders to go?" When the cute, little waitress says she does he then says, "well, pack your bags and let's get out of here." Makes a daughter want to crawl under the table!

Brant said...

I think it's inherent, not training. Kieran's the same way. My brother wanted to borrow him to hang out in the produce section to hit on soccer moms, or something similarly nefarious.
Of course, Kieran's starting to talk well enough to give him away, now, so he may have missed his window.

Chris said...

Cathy, my dad was the same way - which is where I'm sure I picked it up. He worked in food services (managed many restaurants and a hospital or two) so was intimately familiar with that lifestyle and how things worked.

He *always* flirted with waitresses for as long as I can remember.

Brant said...

At least this hasn't happened to you... yet ;)

busted at the airport

A Girl From Texas said...

I have to admit, I find it very sexy.

I feel the same way if I see a guy walking a really cute dog, Like a sheltie (sp?). Shelties aren't too big or too small and they are so cute.