We are currently in Potty Training Hell. Apparently, my worst fear is coming to fruition. I have this terrible concern that I will be unable to ever completely potty train my children. And Athena apparently believes it too.
But why do I even have this terrible paranoia? Oddly, it's my dog.
When I got Murphy, I asked the nice, pimply-faced pet store employee (yes, I bought her at a pet store, and yes, I feel guilty about that) how easy it was to housebreak a dog. I asked this because I had never had a dog and didn't have a clue about the best way to do it. He assured me, in no uncertain terms, that it was very easy. He explained crate training to me, I listened, and I obeyed.
Murphy, unfortunately, did not.
So I took her to a K-9 trainer in a sort of desperation. Murphy learned to sit, stay, lie down, and heel. She was brilliant! They recommended she enter advanced training for things like obstacle courses and frisbee catching. I said I'd enroll her as soon as she was housebroken.
What? Not housebroken? They seemed puzzled. So they offered something really special. They knew I was going to Europe for a couple of weeks that summer. So they offered to board her and housebreak her while I was gone. The cost was reasonable, and their work was guaranteed.
I went to Italy, Greece, and France, and dreamed of returning home to a really well-trained dog. And once again, Murphy crushed my dreams in her cute little paws.
I was told that despite their best efforts, they could not housebreak my dog. These were professionals. They train police dogs to sniff out drugs and take out bad guys. Yet my little princess would look them in the eyes and pee squarely in the middle of their kitchen floor.
They returned my dog to me, tore up my bill, and made me promise to never return.
I will say, this story does have more of a happy ending than you might think. When Murphy grew ill a few years ago, they began to medicate her for her liver issues. Suddenly, and without warning, Murphy ceased to have accidents in the house. She was 13. That's 91 in dog years.
Athena had three accidents at school today. She was doing beautifully last week. This week has simply fallen apart. I am at a loss. I don't have a K-9 school equivalent. And with my track record, it wouldn't matter if I did.
Let's just hope that it doesn't take medication and/or 87 more years for this to stick.