Well, folks, I haven't posted much over the last week because life has consisted of little more than eating, sleeping, feeding, and changing -- not necessarily in that order. The only other things going on of interest are rather disgusting, and I wasn't going to share any of that. However, since there is nothing else to talk about, here you go...
Anyone who is jealous of my short labor should also know that it has caused my body to go into some sort of weird hormonal shock. I'm not suffering from Post-Partum Depression, but there are hormonal changes that are causing me to be a bit moody (going from crying to screaming in 0.2 seconds) and over-emotional (I see a baby picture of Athena and it makes me all weepy for the "old days" -- what? you mean a year and a half ago? wtf?). Also, my body has not regained all its normal function yet, and that is what makes me grumpiest of all.
Basically, you would think that labor + breastfeeding would be enough torture for Mother Nature and she would just leave me alone. But alas, she has once again farted in my general direction. She has determined that my entire bowel system should just shut down. Just stop working. No need to rid the body of toxins... just take it easy for a week.
You can imagine, this is causing me some great distress, not to mention discomfort. I've talked to the doctor. She has me on Senekot plus the Colase I was already taking in an effort to get things moving. No luck so far. And of course, this has caused the most dreaded of all dreadful pregnancy/post-pregnancy ailments... the "H" word. So I also have several pads and creams just so I can function. (Tell a nursing mom that she cannot sit or stand for very long... she should lie down as much as possible. See what she does. If you suffer any bodily injury doing this experiment, I take no responsibility. You were the one dumb enough to do what I suggested.)
So, here I sit, wildly uncomfortable and completely frustrated that despite the fact that the baby is outside of my body, my body is still acting all whiny and mean. Perhaps just by venting my frustrations here, for anyone to read, Mother Nature will be kind to me and wave my systems back into motion. But I'm going to go eat eggs just to help her along. Eggs ALWAYS work. If they don't work today, I may have to go to the ER, just to be sure all my parts are actually still there.