Thursday, May 22, 2008

Can We Fix It? No, It's F**ked!

So the first step is admitting you have a problem. I do recognize that my obsession with Disney is a problem. And yet, unlike the original twelve-step program, I believe that the best way to deal with my problem is to continue to take as many trips to the Mouse as possible. If nothing else, you... my fair readers... benefit from hearing my people-watching stories.

I learn a lot about people at WDW. It's the sort of place that brings out the best and the worst in you. I usually come back with one totally gossipy-sort of story that I just accidentally stumble across. Want to hear the one I picked up this time? You know you do...

So mom and I are in line for Kilamanjaro Safaris at Animal Kingdom first thing in the morning. She is pumped to be doing this, which is awesome, because Mom wasn't really there to ride the rides or see the attractions. She was there to eat. So anything she was willing to do was okay by me. And I love the safari ride. (A note to those of you who have done this attraction that has no relevance to the story... We saw NO giraffes. Have to wonder what's up with that, since that's the primary animal you normally get to see. Illness? Regular down-time. Dunno.)

Anyway, as we were waiting in line, an argument erupted behind us. And I mean ERUPTED. Here's what I picked up on while trying to pretend not to notice the hubub...

MAN: Well, I am TIRED of everyone complaining! If they don't want to be here with me, they shouldn't BE here with me.

WOMAN: Well, I don't want to be here with you. I never wanted to be here with you. I'm only doing this to be with my kids. I don't even LIKE you.

MAN: Well, your KIDS want to be HERE!

WOMAN: I didn't want to be in the parks with you YESTERDAY, and I don't want to be here TODAY, but you are forcing me.

MAN: I'm not forcing anyone!

(By now the teen boy is crying and the pre-teen girl is wringing her hands... not that I noticed of course, because I'm not one of those people who rubberneck or anything).

WOMAN: FINE! I'M LEAVING! (exit, stage right)

So a few minutes later, when it was clear that it was okay to look, I checked out the scene closer. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, I thought. There was the teen boy, the pre-teen girl, the dad, and his NEW WIFE with a NEW BABY, small enough to be in an infant seat! His new YOUNGER, SEXIER wife, I may add.

Now I'm guessing that this was the most awkward trip-planning ever.

"Hey, ex-wife. Wifey and I are taking the kids to Disney. Wanna come?"
"Well, I hate your guts, you bastard, but sure! I'm sure that even though our marriage is a total shambles and you have already remarried and had another kid, I'll be just fine hanging out in line after line with you and your new love. Should be a blast."

Fascinating weirdness, that. At first I thought the guy was a total jerk, but upon observing his behavior after the ex left, he chatted with me a bit and he was quite nice and polite. He was wearing an Edmonton/Canes Stanley Cup Finals shirt, so I didn't point out that I was present when the Canes beat his team in round seven and took the cup. Just didn't seem to come up in the conversation.

Perhaps I'm a bad person for peeking into the lives of others... but really... it was like a buffet... all laid out for me. Wonder how the rest of their trip went... think they made it work?

1 comment:

Amy said...

Weird. . I wonder if she went along just to be a pill. Because that's just way too much torture to put anybody through, unless you're a sicko.