Monday, April 21, 2008

Practical Cats (and Ungrateful People)

My kitty is so proud. She wrote you the following and asked me to post it for you to read and enjoy.

Hello. My name is Hermione, and I am the lovely kitty of Elizabeth and Chris. In theory, I suppose I should admit that there are two little creatures living here too, but they are loud and they tend to pull my fur, so I generally don't talk to them. The girl one has nice pillows on her bed, though. So I like to sleep on them when she is away. Maybe it makes her sneeze. I don't care.

Anyway, I am writing today to tell you of how ungrateful my people are. Today, my woman person came home early from work! I was very excited! I came down right away to say hello, and she petted me and told me I was beautiful (which I am, of course).

So after she gave me so much love and such good scratchies, I felt I should do something nice for her. I know I didn't have to, but that's just what makes me so nice.

So I went outside and found the cutest little fun toy I could. I brought it in to her while she was cleaning the closet out. (She does this so often, I wonder how it keeps getting all messed up... I bet she wonders that too). I put it right at her feet. She stepped back a little, and barely stepped on my little gift. She said, "Oh, I'm sorry, Hermione! Was that your tail?" Then she looked to her left and saw me there. I said *blink.* Then she said *blink.* Then she said, "Oh, what was that I stepped... a SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!"

And then she screamed a scream that would call forth the very devil. Fortunately, I know the devil quite well, and he knows me... so he knew he wasn't needed here.

Then that silly lady FREAKED out. She called my man person and shrieked into the phone. Since he is so far away and couldn't help her, he called the neighbor. The neighbor came over (after my woman person had trapped the gift under a toy bucket that belongs to one of the moist little creatures of the house) and put something heavy on top of it. The neighbor is a real meany! She took my gift right outside and put it in the bushes. hrmph.

These people just don't value a true gift of the heart.


Jason said...

One day, you and Jessy will both realize that it's easier to clean a litter box than to deal with the partial kills of a cat.

eaf said...

Dude... we HAVE a litter box. She just doesn't use it. And your cat goes outside too... don't try to tell me he doesn't. ;-) I've seen it... it's just his huntin' days are well in the past.

Jason said...

He doesn't have a kitty door, however, so he has to check his luggage at the gate.

eaf said...

Yeah... that door has got to go.