Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Oh, yeah! The baby...

I realized that some of you reading this (all two of you) may want an update on The Cutest Baby in the Whole Wide World TM. And of course, I am very willing to oblige, as I can talk for hours about her cuteness.

Since Memorial Day, Athena's daycare is taking her and her classmates to their outdoor "water park," hereafter known as the Pit of Despair. This area consists of several sprinklers set way up high so the little urchins can run around and get soaking wet in the high heat of summer. The activity occurs every Monday and Tuesday morning sometime in the late morning.

So we went out and got her some pink sparkly water shoes. Some of you may presume that I chose the sparkly ones because you know me so well and you know that I would always choose the sparkly ones. However, in this particular case, sparkly was the only option. One small victory for me!

Athena LOVES her new shoes. They were attached to each other with an elastic band when I got them, and when I handed them to her once I got home, she promptly began using them as nun-chucks... or rather... shoe chucks. She was swinging them and laughing and occasionally cramming one in her mouth. Clearly, she was very happy with her sparkly shoes... as she should be.

However, even the sparkly shoes couldn't make her enjoy the Pit of Despair. Maybe it's the cold water... or maybe it's that she doesn't really like water dumped over her head. But she apparently just stands at the side of the water park and screams/wails while the other kids have a ball.

Of course, on her little report card, her teacher says "Athena loves watching her friends play in the water park." Very diplomatic, but very false. I assure you that Athena is not even thinking for a moment about how much fun her friends are having. She is simply wondering what insane person conjured up this "water park" concept.

It is important to note that despite her protestations, her father and I still insist that she be allowed to go out and try the water park every Monday and Tuesday with all her classmates. Why do we continue to torture her this way? It's not like it's essential that she get squirted with cold water on a regular basis. It's not that she won't get into college if she can't enjoy running through sprinklers.

It just seems unAmerican to not enjoy a good dash through the frigid water of a sprinkler, doesn't it? Of course, she's only one. I suppose one could argue that she just doesn't understand it yet. But no worries... we will MAKE her understand! Mwuah ha ha ha ha...

1 comment:

Dan said...

Wait a minute? You didn't have to pass the "sprinkler test" to get into college??? Are you telling me that I'm the only one? No, surely there must be thousands of others who went to small liberal arts colleges that demanded to know of their prospective students if they could hack it in the rough & tumble world of "Sprinkler 101".

Seriously, what kind of pinko-commie baby are you guys raising?! Well, there's still time for her to pass the "Nascar test" Bwha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
~ Dan