Life's Little Circles

I've noticed a very strange phenomenon in my life. I tend to get "led" to places that will eventually be important to me. For example, there was an apartment complex in Greensboro that always sort of stood out to me when we drove past it. However, we didn't get to that area of town often, so we didn't go past it a lot. For a while in my elementary and middle school years, we went to a hair stylist who worked very close to them, so that was really the only time we'd get over there. But I always gazed at those apartments thinking that they were... I dunno... IMPORTANT.

Sure enough, after hunting all over town for my first apartment after college, guess where I ended up.

Okay, so that example isn't so strange because I actually get to PICK the apartment I live in, so I could have sort of led myself there (even though I didn't, and there were two other people in on the decision.)

So, Example the Second. There was a building I passed daily after I got my first job. I noticed it many years before that as well, but almost as soon as I got that first job down the street from it, it became a compulsion. The sign intrigued me. The shape of the windows... The location (right next door to a Krispy Kreme)... All of it called to me.

One day, my dad took me to lunch and said, "Elizabeth, you have a loser, dead-end job that you are way too smart for and it is making both of us miserable. Get another job."

"But, Dad," says I. "I have no idea what I want to DO with my life. I'm 23, have a BA in English Education, and all I know is I don't want to teach."

"Just put some resumes out there."

"But WHERE?!" (Yeah, I was probably whining. I was bad about that. Still am, honestly).

"Doesn't matter."

"The only place that even looks remotely interesting is that place over there." I pointed with my steak and cheese sandwich, because we were lunching in the fabulous Greek restaurant that also happened to be right by "the building."

"Then take a resume there."

"Blind? That never works, Dad. This is the 1990's."

"Humor me."

So I did. I just typed up a resume (it was quite short in those days) and popped it in a manilla envelope. On my lunch break the next day, I went right up to "the building" and I handed my envelope to the receptionist, who seemed about as interested in it as I would have expected her to be. "No job in particular?" she asked. "Nope," says I. "Anything you have that I would qualify for would be interesting to me. I really like this company."

I actually said that. And you know what I knew about the company? It's name. That's it. Name only. And, of course, where their building was... between Krispy Kreme and that Greek place. So I ask you, what's not to like?

Needless to say, you can certainly imagine my surprise when I got a phone call THE NEXT DAY for the PERFECT JOB for me. She actually had just finished interviewing, hadn't really liked her choices, and got my resume. She already knew she wanted to hire me (which she didn't tell me, of course, until she actually DID hire me). It was meant to be.

So, all of that is to share one of life's latest little circles. I did my student teaching at Chapel Hill High School. At the time, it was considered the second best high school in the state and it really was a fabulous teaching experience. While I was there, I asked the drama teacher if I could help with the fall musical, because theater is what I really wanted to do. She was delighted to have the help, and I became a character coach for Hello, Dolly! Seriously fun, and the theater there was quite impressive by high school theater standards.

I left the school and I put all thoughts of teaching behind me. I graduated, moved out of town, and started life as a (real) adult. So when I enrolled my little girl in ballet classes at the Conservatory here, imagine my surprise when I learned that her year-end recital was to be at Chapel Hill High School. A full 20 miles from the Conservatory.

Going back, now a solid 18 years later, was completely strange and other-worldly. I remembered parts of the building like it had only been yesterday. And when my daughter took that same stage that I had worked through all those scenes on... well... Wow. Who knew that the building would hold such treasures for me? Especially a building in a town we do not even live in.

So strange where life takes you.

And So It Begins...

Athena and I had an altercation tonight. We've already had plenty. And I'm sure we have plenty more in store. But for some reason, this one seemed really IMPORTANT.

I don't know why. It is just a gut feeling. Like tonight will actually set a tone for us.


Athena is not a very good listener. She, like her mother, is very selfish about 80% of the time. The other 20%, she would literally offer a stranger one of her kidneys. It's black and white with us... no gray. Give or take... no compromise.


It took me a very long time to learn to think more of others, and I still suck at it compared to many people I know. But I do know it about myself now and can monitor my behavior accordingly. Athena, on the other had, has no idea.

So naturally, I feel very strongly about teaching Athena how important it is to listen, be respectful, and freaking share a toy once in a while. We are also in a bit of a money pickle at the moment, so when she destroys something or wastes something, it sends me over the edge.


Tonight, I gave her one of the expensive little character Band-Aid tattoos because Marcus needed one and she wanted one too. She has been VERY good about not asking for Band-Aids for every little scrape, so I coddled her and gave her one. While I was putting Marcus to bed, however, she went in and took another one and applied it herself.


I noticed the open, out-of-place box and asked her if she'd taken another. She admitted it. This is where it gets hard for me. Do I punish her for directly disobeying me and taking the Band-Aid? Or do I reward her for telling me the truth and not trying to cover it up. I chose the former, with a little of the latter thrown in.

There was much fussing and crying. Only her... I assure you. But I did finally sit down with her and have yet another talk about listening and respecting. The conversation seemed to actually click with her for once, though I'm not placing any bets on that. I do like that she's getting old enough that we CAN have a conversation. Hopefully I don't completely damage the relationship before she enters Kindergarten.

The Dreaded Question; or Mommyfail

Athena asked the dreaded question Thursday morning as we were getting ready. The conversation started simply enough. Athena informed me that it would be very helpful if she had an older sister to help her get ready in the morning so I wouldn't have to. (Mind you, she really doesn't need help in the morning... she was just being clingy that particular morning).

I tried to explain how it would be impossible to provide her with an older sister, as she is the oldest and that cannot be changed. Before you knew it... there is was...

"Well do you GET a baby in your tummy, Mommy?"

I am so ashamed to say that no matter how many times I had thought about this moment, I still stumbled, stammered, and even started with the dreaded... "Well, honey... when a man and a woman love each other..."

Fortunately, I stopped there and restarted. But with all my good intentions and even my desire to be as honest as possible, it's pretty apparent that an almost-five year old girl is not prepared to hear these things. When I got to the part about how a boy and girl fit together, she had clearly heard a little too much. So I backed up and simplified.

"Together, a man and a woman can make a baby. They each have part of what is needed."

Ugh.

We're looking into getting a book for her.

Dying Eggs

Back Away From the Scissors

Athena has a serious addiction.

Scissors.

She cannot get enough of their shiny, squeezy, sharp goodness. She's not really skilled with them... especially when it comes to doing her "homework." Each week, she is required to find pictures in magazines of things that start with the letter ________ and take them to school to show off to her friends and stick on the wall. (This week was "X." Seriously? X. Yeah... we forgot our homework this week.)

Anyway, the scissors thing has been a problem since her early 3's. She returned home from school one day missing a big chunk of hair off the side of her head. She and her friend Zachary "cut each other's hair." Apparently, although this doesn't appear to have been a contest, Zach won, as there was nothing noticeable missing from his head.

Months go by and it grows enough for us to cut it to hide the damage reasonably well.

She did it again several months ago right after we got her hair cut. She also cut Marcus' hair, which is especially impressive when you know he'd just had it buzzed. Looked like someone had tried to carve a design into his hair. This time at home. So we hid the scissors.

Marcus seems to have recovered completely (the boy drinks some serious milk) and Athena also seemed to have evened out. Apparently done with hair, Athena attacked Young MC's hockey net two weeks ago. Cut a huge hole in it. She says she is sorry, but I'm not buying it.

Leading us to yesterday. When I picked up the kids from daycare, they were playing outside. So before I collected them, I went into Athena's room to collect her belongings. Much to my dismay, in her folder of stuff to go home was a ziploc back with a large chunk of hair inside it. Just to clarify for me, they had clearly labeled it "Athena's Hair." Drat. Then, on her "report card" sheet, there was a note (copied as it... incl. punctuation errors, etc.):

"Mr. and Mrs. Caran,
I'm sorry to inform you that during nap time Athena
decided to cut her Hair. Ms. Monica and I spoke to Athena and she felt
very bad. If any questions please speak with me.

Thank you"

So since it was unsigned, I went to get Athena, assess the damage, and ask her teacher the first question that popped into my head, "Where in the blue hell did she get SCISSORS during NAP TIME?!"

Side note: I love how they don't sign their notes to me so I never know which of the rotating series of teachers in there throughout the day wrote the note.

I found Athena and asked her where she cut here hair. She held out her greatly decreased length of bangs. Actually, she didn't HAVE bangs... she does now. Here is the scariest part... it's not half bad. You can certainly see that they are uneven when you look hard, but upon a cursory glance, she doesn't look bad at all. I'm thinking from now on, we let her cut her own hair. She's happy. We save money. It's a win-win. But I digress...

I asked her teacher my innocent little question and was surprised to learn that Athena... with her history of NOT napping AND cutting her hair and the hair of those around her... was placed in the ART CENTER to nap. ooooooooookay.

So I went to Ms. Monica... the Center Director... with a little suggestion. "Um..." says I, quite eloquently. "Could we maybe consider NOT putting Athena in the art center at nap time?" Ms. Monica, whom I really do like and respect, came back at me with, "Yeah... that was the first thing I said when I learned of the incident." I'm pretty sure that had we been hanging out at the bar over a couple of cold beers, she would have added a "WTF were they thinking?!" But ever the consumate professional, she did not.

The icing on the cake? Today was picture day. This is the haircut that will live in INFAMY!!! Muahahahahaha....

And no, I haven't taken pictures. Yeah, I'm a slacker.

Where Is Neverland When You Need It?

Athena turns five at the end of April. On July 7, she will start kindergarten.

Wow.

Today, I registered her and expressed my preferences for tracks. Wake County Public School System has a large year-round contingent and we are excited to have the opportunity for our kids to go to school year round. If you are interested in how this works and you are a visual learner, here is the schedule.

But basically, the gist is... they still attend school the same number of days as anyone on a traditional calendar, but instead of one long break over the summer, they take four three-week breaks throughout the year. We are requesting Track 2, which is the least popular track, mainly because it only has seven days in common with the traditional school calendar. Many people prefer to have some days in common so they can travel with friends and family who are on traditional calendars. We have chosen not to take this into consideration, and rather look for the most consistent schedule (no really long breaks lasting more than three weeks... even around holidays). This is, IMHO, the best possible schedule for learning... preventing too many retention problems between school sessions.

When the kids are off, that is known as being "tracked out." I already have vacations planned during two of the Track 2 track-outs... so if we don't get it, we're kind of screwed. We won't find out until April sometime, so fingers crossed 'til then. Currently, our kids will be able to stay on a year-round schedule through middle school if we wish. Right now, all high schools follow a traditional calendar, and it's likely to remain so. I hear that's mainly because of high school athletics, but that doesn't make much sense to me. I think it's more about jobs and college than anything else.

Anyway, I'm trying to deal with the fact that Athena is starting school. I'm terribly excited and terribly sad at the same time. It definitely marks the end of an era... although at least I still have a couple more years to be in denial while Marcus grows up. Too fast.

I Stand Corrected

As we crossed the parking lot at daycare this morning, Athena turned around and started walking backwards. (No cars were coming, don't worry). She beamed at me and the following conversation ensued:

Athena: Mommy, look at what I can do!
Me: Yes, Athena, that is awesome.
Athena: *beam*
Me: Watch out for the step up!
Athena: *turning around so she doesn't fall and bust her bum* Was that good, Mommy?
Me: Yes, Athena. You have some serious backward-walking skills!
Athena: I have one HUNDRED of skills!
Me: You have MAD skillz!
Athena: *after a thoughtful pause* No, Mommy! Not MAD skills! HAPPY skills!

From Wishes To Sweet Dreams

Welcome Home

The Princess Awaits Test Track

Tusker House Has a Rodent Problem

Athena and Marcus reacted much better to the characters on this trip.

Early Morning at the Hotel Before Continuing on to Disney

Early am @ the hotel.

The Crib

We are so loving this minivan.

Confusion

Athena insisted this was the proper way to use her travel pillow. We document it here for the upcoming instruction manual.

And We Shall Blog It, And It Shall Be Good. We Hope.

We leave to visit my main man, The Mouse, on Friday. We're taking Aiden's family with us as well. And a babysitter! YAY! I will post pics of our trip to The World as we live it to the best of my ability. I have many friends who live-blog, and their pictures always look so great. I think my camera on my phone is just kind of sub-par. But hopefully one or two will come out decent.

I am also hoping to make movies each day like I did last June, but the problem with that is that Vista and Windows MM have not been playing well together on my new laptop. We'll see if I can beat that issue, but for now, live blogging might be the best you can get from me.

I am battling a cold at the moment. Although I would rather have the cold now than on vacation, I am finding it hampers my ability to accomplish the bajillion things needing accomplishing before we go. Tomorrow night, we face laundry, packing, and cleaning out my car. Friday morning, the car will get a bath and I will get a mani/pedi (a vacation tradition). We're hitting the road about 1pm. The photos should start appearing around then. I'm sure 10 hours in the car (split over two days) will provide enough interesting fodder to keep you checking back.

Maybe.

Probably not. But at least I'll have pics uploaded when I get back!

Before Ballet Class

Athena has taken to "modeling" whenever we take her picture. She does coy, over-the-shoulder looks and she poses her arms funny. She thinks she is being pretty. Sometimes, the photo comes out quite well. But more often, she just looks a bit silly... like here.

Family Values

Today, Athena went shopping with me at the local warehouse store. As we were leaving, she noticed a young man with dreds pulled back in a ponytail. She commented to me, "Mommy, he has a ponytail!"

"Yes, he does, honey!"

"But boys can't have ponytails! That's silly!"

At this point, I explained to her that boys can have long hair OR short hair... whatever they prefer. Just like girls can have long or short hair.

She thought about this, and started noticing people around us... how they all had different lengths of hair. Somehow, this led into some musings on how to tell boys and girls apart. This transitioned into a conversation that I've been waiting for... but not the conversation you THINK it turned into.

She said something about how people always have a mommy AND a daddy. I told her that actually, sometimes people have two mommies or two daddies. And some people only have a mommy or a daddy. All of those different families are still families... but they all love each other just as much.

She said, "Yes. I have a mommy and a daddy though."

"Yes, you do."

"And you love me."

"I love you so much."

"All mommies and daddies love their kids."

"Yes. All kinds of families all love each other."

"I love you, Mommy."

"I love you too, sweetie."

Some Tidbits From My Day

(Overheard at a meeting to determine the nominees for the Wake Reads Together Program this year)
Librarian 1: So what is the theme that ties these two books (Year of Wonders and Fever 1793) together?
Librarian 2: Death
Librarian 3: Death after long and horrible suffering
Librarian 1: So, is that really programmable?
Librarian 4: We could have a mortician show the kids how to make a body look good after being ravaged by disease!
Librarian 1: Right. Moving on...


(Overheard in the car on the way home)
Athena: MOooooooooooooooooom! I dropped my CRACKER!
ME: We'll get it when we get home.
Athena: I can't reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeach it!
ME: When we get home!
Athena: Can we stop so I can unbuckle and get it?
ME: No.
Athena: *sigh* I wish I had a flying cracker.


(Overheard at Dinner)
Marcus: *Pointing at his mashed potatoes* Dangerous!


UPGRADE: Athena's bed time music selection includes These Boots Are Made for Walkin'!
DOWNGRADE: It's the Antonio Banderas version from Shrek. So much for Grrrl Power.

And Then One Day It Happened

Athena was put under a fair amount of pressure to move up to her big girl bed. We did everything we could to make it enticing. Painted the walls purple... got a new bedroom set... the list goes on. But it was several months after the room was completed (about five) before she finally said she wanted to go there. Now, she was between 18 months and 2 years old at the time. But we needed her to make the change to free up the crib for Young MC. He was born in March, and she moved into her bed around May. Fortunately, it was just before we really felt we had to put Mr. Man in his own room. So everything went swimmingly, and both kids loved their new digs.

Marcus is now approaching 2 1/2, and until last night, he showed no interest in the toddler bed we assembled opposite his crib in his room about six months ago. He is a burrower... loves to be snuggled down in many blankets and with every stuffed animal he possesses (which is a truckload, I assure you). He has not really attempted to climb out of the crib except once or twice when he was feeling particularly brave, bold, and not-so-bright.

Then, last night, out of nowhere, he told Daddy he wanted to sleep in his big boy bed. And that was that. I suspect that Seneca, our babysitter, had been talking to him about it earlier that day because I noticed a lot of his stuff was already moved over there. But sure enough, he hunkered down and slept... almost all night.

He got up at 4am and wandered toward our room. Unfortunately for him, he left his toy broom in the floor and tripped on it, causing himself great pain. I only wish that the cause/effect lesson would sink in, but I'm sure he will leave it lying out tonight too. The funny thing is, since I never think that Marcus might be walking the halls at night, I assumed it was Athena. I went in to offer to get some cough medicine for the awake one, and almost barged into Athena's room thinking that's where Daddy was doing all the comforting. Fortunately, Chris appeared just before I made that error and we avoided having TWO sleepy but awake and grumpy children.

So now we start talking about converting the crib into a bed, and buying a mattress and boxspring. Right after I had the A/C repaired today. And we still have to deal with the roof and subsequent interior repairs.

Perhaps I should have taken that other job. *sigh*

Twinkle Toes

Athena had her first ballet class today. I was hoping to post millions of pictures of little 4 and 5 year-olds in pretty pink ballet dresses and tights and shoes, but alas. I carefully chose a "serious" ballet school where Athena could learn really good technique and form, and they frown on parents ooohing and aaahing over the wee ones. The windows all had sheer drapes on them so we really couldn't see in very well. Many times, I wasn't even sure which kid was mine.

She will not normally take class on Wednesdays. Today was a make-up day for last Saturday. This "serious" ballet school apparently got scared of the rain that fell because of Hanna, so they cancelled morning classes. It's kind of too bad too, because Athena really liked this teacher. If it turns out that she doesn't like the Saturday instructor, I will probably move her to the Tuesday morning class... same instructor as Wednesday.

I didn't get to see everything they did, but she learned to plie... they went through all the foot positions, and she walked with a beanbag balanced on her head. Well, it was balanced MOST of the time.

I was overjoyed to see her enjoy the class. When I asked her what her favorite part was, without hesitating, she responded, "All of it!"

Now I just have to get myself back into it. Still need to shed some more weight before considering it though. I like my knees just the way they are, thank you very much. No need to go and tear them up.